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The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/Virtual-Perception92 on 2023-07-17 01:00:41.

I got together with my boyfriend half a year ago & I love him so much. But he’s been telling me that “he had to dump the women in his past because they were all boring in bed” & that he “doesn’t want to have to do it again.” He told me he “hopes that it will be special with me”. Tbh, it intimidated me & made me afraid of losing him.

He started with romantic sex & then suddenly started eliminating certain elements of our sex life step by step. e.g. he first eliminated kissing during sex & then going down on me.

After a while he started talking about his kinks & fantasies & I realized right away that his fantasies were too extreme for me. However, I tried to convince myself that maybe I could give it a try, but in hindsight, I was just afraid that he’d leave.

A week later, he told me that he’ll buy a whip for me & that he’ll whip me so hard that I will beg him to stop but that he’ll only stop when he cums. Although I was reluctant, he told me that deep down I’m into pain, even if I’m not aware of it. In reality I’m turned off by it.

A few days later, he called me ‘disgusting’ because I suddenly started bleeding during sex & told me I owed him anal sex (without lube!) as a form of punishment. He didn’t accept a “no” & asked a million times.

The last time we had sex was the worst. He ordered me to undress in the bathroom & then started humiliating me. e.g. he said that I was a “dirty bitch” who “doesn’t even deserve to be used as a sex toy” & that “even the most desperate guy wouldn’t touch me”,etc.

That verbal humiliation really hurt me. Our sex life has made me feel unattractive, worthless & shabby.

When I tried to talk to him about it, he just shrugged it off & said that “this is just how BDSM works & that he’s just the dominant one in our relationship”. Also, according to him, everything was consensual since I had said “yes” to sleeping with him in the first place.

What is going on here? Is this consensual? What do you think about all this?