What kind of program has this internet-brain-rotted masculinity brought us? A public-health official who neglects fatal outbreaks of preventable diseases because he seems to believe that only the strong should survive. A Department of Defense, renamed the Department of War, that launches a needless war of choice in the Middle East. A government that props up the fossil-fuel industry (manly) while deliberately suppressing green alternatives (girly), leading to a catastrophic rise in energy prices when that war doesn’t go as planned. A president who imposed tariffs to bring back “manly jobs,” but only drove up inflation instead.
It’s hard to see how any of this has made men’s lives better. But maybe making other people’s lives worse is enough.
My son has severe emotional regulation struggles all his life. He’s been in therapy since he was 7. I found it really interesting one day, when he was 8 or 9, I seemingly out of the blue, asked him, “do you feel like people are out to get you?” He said, yes, very sternly.
The answer honestly surprised me. I saw the question on some form I did for myself (in therapy) and I thought to ask him, not really sure why. But I am glad I did. Ive been working with him on this since. A big part of what I am trying to give him is a healthy sense of self so he doesnt feel this way.
This is the other big chunk of it. I noticed nearly all of the “grown men” in my terrible bloodline, did not possess this skill. Again, with help of a whole ass therapy team, I am trying to give my (fully nerodiverent) son these skills. To identify how we are feeling using words, specifics with broad vocab, just doesnt come to everyone easily, and half the battle it seems, is to beable to recognize our emotions for what they are. Then you have a chance for positive change and regulation through the tough emotions.
Another big chunk, is… seriously, fathers need to love thier kids and be present, and set a good example for thier sons. A father not doing this, for anykid, fucks em up, but especially our sons. They need positive “masculine” role models if they stand a fighting chance to not become so vexxed they ruin thier relationships with others (and honestly themselves too), from what Ive seen in life.
and goes without saying, kids need humans to raise them, not an aglorythm.