I don’t really know where to ask this.
I need to work on my self-esteem issues, a lot of which are caused by my home life. I’m “not logical”, clumsy, dumb, not smart, etc.
But they call me smart when it comes to my schoolwork as in, “You’re smart, you can do your work.” When I’m stressed.
My family wants me to be perfect and I’m just not.
They make jokes when I’m upset, and when I’m upset or try to tell them, I’m “too sensitive” and they go on about how insecure and how weak I am.
I broke up with my partner. They said I was too sensitive and insecure because I was upset about having to block the person. One of them laughed and said “You’re still upset?” When it happened 30 minutes before they said that.
Even my sister puts me down or calls me names sometimes to fit in.
You can survive. It’s not always the most fun option but it’s a very valid one. I was in basically the exact same boat as you. I had to put up with their crap long after I wanted to because it was truly the only option I had short of being a high school dropout living on the streets.
I made it through college and then began cutting them off as much as possible bit by bit. I’m now full no contact.
What I did was focus on myself and my interests. I focused on the things I could control. I couldn’t control their garbage attitude towards my hobbies, saying they’re useless and a waste of time (which, yes, they’re hobbies, that’s kind of the point) but I did them anyways (I watched So… Much… Anime…)
When I went to college I for the most part knew who I was, my flaws and strengths, and made more supportive friends.
You’ve got this. Just remember you’re in high school now but that isn’t forever. I started living my best life well after high school.