I don’t really know where to ask this.
I need to work on my self-esteem issues, a lot of which are caused by my home life. I’m “not logical”, clumsy, dumb, not smart, etc.
But they call me smart when it comes to my schoolwork as in, “You’re smart, you can do your work.” When I’m stressed.
My family wants me to be perfect and I’m just not.
They make jokes when I’m upset, and when I’m upset or try to tell them, I’m “too sensitive” and they go on about how insecure and how weak I am.
I broke up with my partner. They said I was too sensitive and insecure because I was upset about having to block the person. One of them laughed and said “You’re still upset?” When it happened 30 minutes before they said that.
Even my sister puts me down or calls me names sometimes to fit in.
I grew up with a family like this. They were extremely emotionally abusive. I was told every day that I was disgusting, too sensitive, a liar, a manipulator, a failure. I was told that I could never make it on my own and even though I tried to get out, they’d say that no one would take me in as a roommate because no one can stand being around me.
After decades of being told this I believed it and my depression got worse. I stopped taking care of myself, my physical health tanked, and I lost a lot of friends by lashing out at them.
They started getting physically abusive and finally after being choked and smothered I escaped from that house and realized nothing they said was true. They were saying all that to keep my self esteem low and to keep me emotionally stunted and dependent on them. Eventually, my depression, and 95% of my health problems went away when I moved elsewhere.
My point is, they’re keeping you down on purpose. They are manipulating you and chipping away at your mental health. please try not to take their words to heart. Grey rock them if you can, and try to look for places to move to if possible. Once you find a place away from that madness, go no contact or low contact.
I can fully understand having low self esteem because someone is telling you you’re no good all the time. It’s hard to not be affected by it. But just know that you are not the problem here.
I hope you are able to find a peaceful living situation soon. It will do wonders for your mental and physical health, I promise you that.