I don’t really know where to ask this.
I need to work on my self-esteem issues, a lot of which are caused by my home life. I’m “not logical”, clumsy, dumb, not smart, etc.
But they call me smart when it comes to my schoolwork as in, “You’re smart, you can do your work.” When I’m stressed.
My family wants me to be perfect and I’m just not.
They make jokes when I’m upset, and when I’m upset or try to tell them, I’m “too sensitive” and they go on about how insecure and how weak I am.
I broke up with my partner. They said I was too sensitive and insecure because I was upset about having to block the person. One of them laughed and said “You’re still upset?” When it happened 30 minutes before they said that.
Even my sister puts me down or calls me names sometimes to fit in.
Your parents are emotionally immature, is what it basically comes down to. Try to reframe everything in light of this information and you can begin to heal, by building emotional maturity on your own in spite of them, and by discarding the false role-self(ves) they’ve imposed on you due to their inadequacies. That’s a very condensed, overly pithy way to put it all. These ideas need space to unfold, but I can’t write a lot at the moment.
That’s been my journey, and a lot of what I’ve been through echoes your struggles in the home. If you want a book that covers all of this with better clarity, I can recommend one that’s on Anna’s archive, free to download.