I don’t really know where to ask this.

I need to work on my self-esteem issues, a lot of which are caused by my home life. I’m “not logical”, clumsy, dumb, not smart, etc.

But they call me smart when it comes to my schoolwork as in, “You’re smart, you can do your work.” When I’m stressed.

My family wants me to be perfect and I’m just not.

They make jokes when I’m upset, and when I’m upset or try to tell them, I’m “too sensitive” and they go on about how insecure and how weak I am.

I broke up with my partner. They said I was too sensitive and insecure because I was upset about having to block the person. One of them laughed and said “You’re still upset?” When it happened 30 minutes before they said that.

Even my sister puts me down or calls me names sometimes to fit in.

  • Atomic@sh.itjust.works
    2·
    3 days ago

    There’s something to be said, about people that only come up with problems. Instead of presenting solutions. (Im talking about them, not you)

    I’m not going to say i can relate too much. I was very much the opposite of you as a child. But I was also supposed to be perfect, Most things came easy to me. I was smart, I got top grades, I was active in acrobatics, but sometimes when I didn’t know things. Instead of politely explaining it to me. I was often met by “WHAT!? You don’t know this?? They don’t teach you this? We were taught this at a much younger age than you”. Ok. Cool.

    Which obviously made me feel stupid. No matter how good I was. It was never enough. No matter how well i built something, it was never good enough. And no matter how far i could run. It wasn’t far, or fast enough.

    If I couldn’t do to it on my own, no one was going to help me either. I was praised for being independant. But the reason I were, was because I learned early on, very early on. That no one is ever going to help me. I need to be able to do everything on my own. Otherwise nothing will get done. And that came back to bite me in the ass many years later.

    So my advice to you. Try to see of you can seek professional help, ask your school if they know of any resources for mental health. Because trust me on this one. It would be so much better if you could get help now. Rather than 15-25 years later.

    They can’t fix the problems with your family. But they can help you find tools to deal with it. And it also feel pretty nice to talk to someone that can listen and understand.