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If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.
Got my letters updated, and pre-op blood work and forms done. Blood work was good so hopefully that means everything is set for surgery in December. Last step is getting insurance to clear it so fingers crossed for that. Got cat-called on my way back from my appointment #ewphoria, and got a bunch of extra attention from men in general all weekend. I had a voice therapy appointment also and my therapist told me that I might be the fastest study she’s ever had. At this point, we just shoot the shit for an hour and she picks out moments when my voice drops back into masc tendencies so I can correct it.
Even still, I’ve been battling confidence issues and dysphorias more recently. I had my period this past week which usually nukes my confidence so I know it’ll come back. It also causes my voice to get awfulll. We had a big get together yesterday with a bunch of friends and I really wish that I would’ve been feeling better and sounding better for it. But I’m feeling cute today so I think I’m on the other side of it.
I’ve also been feeling more and more isolated. I have one other trans girlfriend but we’re very different people and I think she gets more jealous of my transition and sees me more like a competitor than a friend. I don’t really know what to do with that. I wish I had an irl girlfriend who we could help each other navigate our transitions. It saddens me that I’ll eventually get to a point where I don’t really have any milestones left to celebrate with someone who really gets it.