Recovery involves failure. It is natural to fall back into old ways, what is important is what you do after. You can either live in the failure, the negativity, and say you are incapable or you can accept that a habit is a habit and try again, find the positivity in continuing to try. Nothing in life is perfect, and recovery involves relapse even if it’s been years, it’s okay just pick up and keep trying.
I don’t often use them, but some women’s rooms are not that much cleaner than men’s. Diarrhea in every stall, piss on the seats, or worse blood from periods left behind. We are all human with bodily functions and some of us are gross shit leaving goblins.