And my ex

I could see how the whole “witness me!” thing originated more civilly, with the requirement being two unrelated witnesses and a notary on float application paperwork.

I will add that the whole thing makes me think of this now whenever I see him:

“Ain’t no law says a president can’t lead a coup.”

You’re goddamn right.

Lemmings don’t actually do that; Disney threw lemmings off a cliff because it made for a more compelling documentary:

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/white-wilderness-lemming-suicide/

While I agree that he’s an idiot, I tend to think his disavowal has more to do with his malignant narcissism: he can’t accept being associated with people who others view as weak, and in his view taking a guilty plea means you’re weak. In his mind, saying he knows her and hired her means admitting he made a bad judgment call, and that’s simply not something he’s capable of admitting (even to himself.)