mtf 23 - Learning how to exist. <3

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Joined 2 months ago
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Cake day: August 10th, 2026

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  • Came here to recommend exactly this!

    Though the wonderful thing about plane specifically is you don’t have to selfhost it. Its great without self hosting too.

    I’ve done project management with small team and solo projects for around 5 years now and I’ve seen a lot go into the shitter… Plane is open-core, and I expect it’ll be safe for a long while given the way other project management software has been going.

    I’ve used Trello the most, but also lots of Jira and HackNPlan. Taiga (there are two, forget which is which off top of my head) was alright until it wasn’t. I started REALLY looking after this, and landed on either Wekan or Plane. If you can selfhost and don’t mind the limited featureset (possibly fine solo!) - wekan may be great. But plane is absolutely wonderful and what I use with my tiny team now.


  • I’d imagine its pretty common. How often do we all read internalized transphobia spirals on this community? How often did it start there for many of us… I was once there years ago.

    5 years ago, I was straight-up transphobic. Like, literally unexplainably scared of trans people. I grew up in a super conservative town, and while I wasn’t conservative, I had never been exposed to trans people and the concept was entirely new. Mind you - that time I wore a dress out and was nearly strangled to death for it didn’t do me any favors in asking questions either…

    But 5 years ago I met my first trans friend. She had finally gotten away from conservative parents heading into college herself and was starting to socially transition. We argued. My arguments… Calling them transmedicalist would be giving me too much credit, I was straight-up transphobic. But I was as careful as I could be and wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt and try to learn if maybe this stuff was legit. That night, as anyone following the scientific method would do - I went to acour research trying to prove myself wrong… I didn’t want to hurt my friend and wanted to understand. That night, I learned “oh…” - theres plenty of evidence that suggests brain sex can be different from body sex. I was wrong. I apologized the next morning and became an ally. I often ended up leading things in uni, and despite not understanding much I’d always put pronouns in my username to signal a safe space the best I could.

    Eventually I get a girlfriend, who herself is trans. With her, I learned more… But she’s my ex for a reason and part of that had to do with how cagey she was about everything and anything so admittedly didn’t learn much. But in that relationship I did eventually realize there was no way in hell I was a man. I started identifying non-binary, and well… She’d still call me her “boyfriend” and such, further ruining any chance of my questioning myself further. But in helping her with her parents, I figured they may be responsive to the same stuff I was years before and started searching for research. 22 peer-reviewed journals. All backing the existence of trans people, several backing that gender was absolutely not binary.

    Eventually we broke up over some seriously traumatic issues, and I spent a long time recovering from that. Somewhere along the line I read a post on a trans community talking about brain sex by a biologist. This gave me even more insight on the whole non-binary stuff, because it elaborated on the research I had already read. Gender markers in the brain tend to lean toward the gender one identifies as - I knew this already (which already gives precedent for other genders given these markers are individual points of data that could hypothetically be plotted multi-dimensionally together - not a line). But what I didnt understand was that not only is that the case, but there are more than 2 ways lots of these markers can trend, implying the markers themselves can be more than a line. Suffice to say, gender is incredibly diverse based on what we know scientifically.

    A transmedicalist who claims to follow science and is a bigot or doesn’t accept multiple genders… Isn’t very scientific in their shit themselves.

    As for what people choose to label themselves as - idgaf. You do you. There’s very clear evidence supporting your existence scientifically. If you choose to find a label that works for you - well its nobody else’s place to figure you out, particularly in a place with so little research but very much has enough to support you - in this way, my modern line of thought aligns very well with lots of the other positive stuff in this thread. I hope for the day everyone can be better understood by everyone <3

    And nowawadays I identify as a woman, so well, journey goes on. But that’s how I got to “geez, its REALLY stupid to claim transmedicalism. You really gotta ignore what research has been done, which is ironically not all that medical a way of doing things, to come to these opinions…”

    Sincerely, A rambling transfem who hopefully got her journey of understanding across without accidentally insulting anyone.



  • Didn’t think of a numbing cream! I’ll look into it ASAP, I keep going and the laser technician needs to turn it down every time to get through the full session… thank you so much! I’ve always felt cursed with black hair that’s visible even when shaved, but knowing that in the long run it’ll be better for laser at least, I have hope. I had heard about orange concealer, but never the “why” - thank you loads! <3



  • Omg thank you so much. Sorry for the late response, I’ve been having a time and coming back to this post makes me too aware… ;-;

    Saving this for later when I have more than a couple dollars in the bank… struggling with food rn. Desperately need to find some kind of income source that doesn’t make everything worse so I can keep affording HRT and literally anything to make my situation better… thinking of selling an expensive laptop and replacing it with a 4GB RAM ROC Libre Computer… I mostly use said laptop for a web browser plugged into a TV, so I think it’ll work well? Only thing is I lose years of stickerbombing the thing… D:.

    VEET sounds amazingly nice, I’m gonna look into that right now. Chemical burns sounds bad though… I have pretty sensitive skin… currently struggling with minor folliculitis all over my legs and shoulders (worst fucking spots for fashion, fml). I plan to laser my body, but rn “wait a few weeks for everything to grow back” sounds like the best - currently shaving my body with razors and it lasts less than a week… and not like I can afford more laser rn anyways. Worried about electrolysis afterwards, because of my current financial struggle too, but that’s the plan…

    Thank you so much Vibi, you’re truly wonderful and amazingly helpful… I only wish I could follow this NOW. ugh… will do ASAP for sure though! Thanks!


  • Omg, it’ll be a while before I can share in trans_joy unfortunately ;-; - thanks though!

    To think there is such a thing as otter love nobody knew they needed is heresy! I love otters, I have half a dozen otter plushies I was gifted annually as a small child - absolute cutest aquatic critters, I swear! Otter love appreciated <3

    LMAO

    Undertale is definitely my fav from your list lol. I love the Life is Strange games, but I have yet to play beyond LiS 2. I’ve replayed Before the Storm more times than I can remember. I love Metroid Dread, been meaning to play Prime for years now… my first Metroid was Super Metroid on the SNES Classic and holy crap that game is one of my favorites ever in terms of atmosphere and is something I always refer to as like, the best way to start a story! Can’t say much as to the others personally, but I’ve heard good things about all of them.

    You tried Deltarune yet?


  • Hey girl, welcome!

    My first post on this account was venting like, a week ago in the comments on a meme post >.< - I’m sure your normal introduction is fine here lmao.

    To relate some; It took me months to come to a name I liked. It’s taking me much longer to be happy enough with myself to feel comfortable posting pictures. But one day I swear, I will be posting in trans_joy, and I’m sure you may be able to as well - give yourself the time you need (if you ever want to of course, I totally get there are other reasons to not want to as well)! :D

    Sending hugs your way! <3

    P.S., I am absolutely intrusive enough to ask - what are your favorite games? :3




  • Wherever you are, your contributions are very well appreciated! I live in a very small town and use OSM. Idk who mapped this place, but having maps away from Google in such a small place makes me happy. Again, wherever you are, you are contributing to a cause that can help free people from big tech monopolies and actually advances human society forever.

    You are part of the reason people like me who don’t have time to contribute to such efforts can use these apps anyways. Part of the reason adoption is possible. Part of the reason OSM can grow beyond just whatever you’re documenting.

    Thank you, really. <3