i cAnNoT eXpReSs hOw SoRRy i Am

If I can’t crumple it up and score 3 points to impress my coworkers, I’m not buying

Uh-oh. I’ve heard this one before.

Good

She was friends with Trump back in the day. It rubs off.

I need to read more

I copy pasted this comment from that post with the elephant sucking his own dick:

“Joke’s on you. That looks like a lot of fun”

Joke’s on you. That looks like a lot of fun.

How long until he says “Yes, it’s meant to do that. I want it to say that” ?

Total rockstar

Meep meep

Tramp lamp

Drowning on dry land

Dude’s so old his favorite beat is the big bang

His trial is still ongoing but you’re guilty and going to horny jail

“That thing you use for security? Disable it before you come in. Come on, live a little, huh? 😏 Nothing bad’s gonna happen. Pinky swear.”

Wait, no, I think that’s leopards

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a human?

No way… Come on… 🥹 That’s adorable… come on now…

I can confirm this. Cheetos ads taught me this. They really are super chill