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Joined 11 months ago
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Cake day: August 9th, 2023

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  • That’s just wishful thinking that doesn’t address the problem at all. Even though you might want the 90-9-1 ratio to change, it isn’t. It’s an established pattern for a reason. Even if the person you responded to was gonna post a lot, they might get a few upvotes, maybe a comment or two on their posts. Simply because there aren’t enough people here to engage with niche topics. And then it feels like your effort is futile (which honestly it is if your goal is an active community), they get discouraged and stop posting and we’re back to square one with no meaningful changes. Sometimes it is about numbers and this is one such case.













  • I have a disability and I’m a student so I have zero physical or mental energy to have a job next to my almost full time study. I used to just be broke all the time. I found out there’s a city government fund for people exactly like me, and it honestly so fucking crazy what that extra 300 euros a month does. It’s not just that I can afford necessities and something fun once in a while but it gives so much peace of mind. One of my cats was sick a few months ago and I could just take her to the vet and have her blood work done without having to stress about it.



  • SolarNialamide@lemm.eetoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml*Permanently Deleted*
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    9 months ago

    I’m sorry but you’re being a child. ‘Well, if everyone apparently hates hearing me talk so much, I’ll just say nothing at all, just to please everyone even if it kills me inside!’ My guy. If multiple people at different points in your life with different relationships all say the same thing to you, it’s probably true. I know it’s hard to accept but you’re not accurately seeing what is happening in these social situations because you have a certain view of yourself and how you behave doesn’t match with that so you ignore it.

    I speak from experience. I’m autistic, it took a long time for me to learn to communicate properly. I had to be told by multiple people who were close to me at mutlple parts of my life that I was selfish in conversation and only talked about myself. At first I was very offended and indignant and denied it. Those people stopped being friends with me, but years later I realized they were right. Still, when I’m not trying I slip into just talking about myself. It took my brother and his wife saying it to me again 2 years ago. I apologized to them and have started paying attention more, and it makes a world of difference.

    Let other people talk, ask them questions, no matter how brilliant or interesting you think you are. You, in your childish indignation, think that being more empathetic in conversation will have a negative impact on you, but the people around you will like you way more and be more willing to talk with you, which actually has a positive impact on you. You know, I have students who are also super offended every time you discipline them because it’s sooo unfair and they didn’t do anything wrong, but it happens with every single teacher. It’s not them, it’s you. Try to be open to the fact that sometimes, other people have a more accurate view of your behavior. If they all say the same thing, listen.




  • I think it’s just confirmation bias that stems from the meme. I’ve had four cats in my life: an orange tabby tomcat, a black tomcat, a white and orange girl and a grey tabby girl. The orange tabby tomcat was the smartest by a mile out of all of them and the grey tabby girl was the dumbest by a 100 miles. Orange and white girl is the second dumbest and the black tomcat second smartest.

    But people aren’t gonna post their average or smart orange cats or their dumb non-orange cats on the internet because it doesn’t fit into a specific meme/sub/community. So now it seems like there’s heavy correlation, but there really isn’t.