Ergifruit [he/they]

one of those lil lipstick-shaped pocket knives?

death penalty.

can’t wait for Spider-Fran

Behind the Bastards (weird/interesting historical shitheads; usually, they did one on Musk and the Submarine Guy)

The Dogg Zzone (if you read Cracked back in the day, two of the main writers, plus guests)

Stuff You Should Know (Stuff. You should know.)

The Dollop (More weird historical shitheads, and sometimes good stuff??)

My Brother, My Brother, and Me (because i’m a basic removed and love dick jokes)

Distractible (also because i’m a basic removed and love dick jokes)

dogs have a second, secret set of balls.

…and you’re typing that like it’s good? 🤢

because they’re supposed to make it up in tips. yeah, it’s the business’ fault, but if you’re going there and supporting the business through your purchases while knowing you’re supposed to tip, and then not tipping, you’re the asshole. don’t get me wrong, it’s unethical. but OP knows you’re supposed to tip and is trying to wrangle their way out of it. if you can’t afford to tip, just don’t go.

invisibility. i would just be invisible 20/7… only because it’d be rude to go up to a cashier or to the barber’s while invisible.

you absolutely are the asshole if you don’t tip. if you can’t afford to tip, then don’t eat out/just hit up fast food/go anywhere where people are paid a decent wage. most servers make under $5 an hour. if you’re not tipping, you’re directly exploiting them.

Munchlax, Drifblim, and Beedrill. and i, much like every disaffected child in the 2000’s, wanted Entei to be my dad.

so what’s plasma?

you say it like i haven’t been trying 😅

4L today! 🌊 💪

there’s gonna be a new season of Futurama‽

my partner uses an iPhone, and i’ll never understand how. there’s so many hoops you have to jump through to find or do anything on there… the UI is a complete shitshow. it’s the least intuitive interface i have ever had the misfortune to use. Macs are somehow even worse. if you love someone, find them an Android replacement and set it on baby/elderly mode with all the buttons huge and in one spot. a fucking Jitterbug would be an upgrade.

is it, though? the quality has gone down even further, even if posts are still being made. a shitton of stuff on Reddit is lost, only kept on the Internet Archive instead of the actual site. considering a lot of power users jumped ship, there’s less content in general. so, yes, it’s still perfectly functional, and people are gonna use it. but it’s gonna degrade at a pretty steady rate, and the users still there are gonna use the site less because of it.

ya gotta hunker down reeeeeal low to get your face all up in there, but it’s something that’ll always stick with ya.

as someone with IBS, cold/frozen liquids are the way to go… pun fully intended. it might be a bit difficult to keep things cool, but frozen sports drinks and the like are good for keeping you going. it’s really unhealthy, and i absolutely can’t recommend it, but it should work. you get a lot of your water intake from food, too, so if it’s not getting any of that, the water you ingest from liquids/frozen liquids is gonna get sucked up by your large intestine and, in theory, you’ll need the toilet less. good luck with, uh. your thing.

if the prisoners learn life skills that could lead to gainful, legal employment, how are they supposed to be forced back into the system for free labor?

“nofapping Reddit” is the greatest way i’ve ever seen anyone describe the situation