If I am not mistaken, according to the grammatical scrolls, having a chin makes everyone … chinese

Yo dawg, we heard you like engine braking so we gave you engine breaking in your engine braking!

See kids, that’s what happens when you brake too hard.

It’s just recliner theater, I tell ya!

Please run for congress. Now.

Saw a kid puke in the pool once on a Disney cruise. You shoulda seen those cast members come running in full hazmat suits and shut down the entire deck! A finely tuned machine, like swappin tires at the Indy 500. If Disney ever got into the military-industrial complex they would take over the world. Worth every penny.

Where tomatoes?

For me it was the guy in slide one with the lil’ sebastian pony tail. Brick man is just the washed up kool-aid man after the royalties ran out and the brain damage kicked it from repeated head trauma (plus diabeetus). Ohh nooo!

That hideous alien creature on the wing during a storm? Me. That’s me. I saved 19 bucks on my ticket and got TWO bags of peanuts on standby! The peanuts blew away one by one somewhere over Iowa but I had beef jerky backup, as all responsible travelers do.

That guy stuffed into a 1970’s Samsonite in the unpressurized baggage hold? Also me.

One time I mailed myself through USPS. If it fits it ships flat rate!! It hurt when I got drop-kicked onto a porch though. More emotionally than anything else.

Maybe I’m just physically intimidating, or a braggart, but I always get the full can of soda

The legroom may force me to drink it with my knees above my head, but still, chalk up a win for the common man

If you roll an average of 2.37 Cavendish bananas length of duct tape between your index and middle finger, you can make a sticky booger ball that tastes like an olive (or maybe boogers, depending on your pH and relative gastrointestinal ‘transit time’). As a limited time offer it also removes warts!

“Yeah, well I’m going to start losing even harder!”

"Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

Rural vs urban is just another mechanism to divide people. Most unheard people just want the quiet dignity of a job that pays enough, enough free time to enjoy life, and to be left alone. The loudmouth sycophants and power-hungry sociopaths manipulate and ruin everything, skewing perceptions for the rest of us.

I much prefer Dunning-Notice-Krueger. I get a credit collections notice delivered by a guy with a metal-clawed glove. Now with Fedora!

The figure is somewhere above 0%, but certainly not zero. For example, haven’t you seen the crap blaster 9000 infomercial at 2AM on a Tuesday? You connect that bad boy to a fire hydrant (vendor liability disclaimed), pull the turbo-diesel engine rip cord, and wear a full body bio-hazard suit with air supply (suggested). Not for use with some sets. Batteries not included.

Ahh, sweet memories; sometimes they overflow.

Yes, I’m something of a motorboaterist myself…

Browser: “Are you gonna order somethin’ kid!?” (all subsequent data streams to Google for future sale)

User: “Uh yeah, give me, gimme a tab.”

Browser: “A tab. I can’t give you a tab unless you order something!”

User: “But I’m jonesin for some saccharin … not that newtra-schweddy or whatever it is”

Biff Yaml enters; sits two spaces down, feeling sexagesimal: “What are you looking at, BUTTHEAD!?” (all of his comments are one line)

Python Strickland enters: "User what are you doing? Four spaces are used for indentation. You got a real attitude problem, user; you’re a slacker! You remind me of your dunder father when he went here; he was a slacker, too! Quack quack. (his package is poorly managed)

Linus Torvalds enters: heavy breathing … curses in Finnish (Älykääpiö!) … gits out

IBM Selectric: “Hold my beer … and my ball”

Obnoxious neighbor kid walks in (a real ascii): Invokes char(11)/VT; sits on the floor. His Mylar balloon flies away, hits a high voltage line, and the power goes out.

Browser: “Well, looks like the milkshake machine’s broken.”

Teletype Model 28 looks up from drinking coffee and reading the morning paper tape: “I would like to be … modified”

Doc Mill (nee’ Rampazetto) enters: (shudders) “Momma bollocks!”

During this time, Helium was on a noble mission and did not react.

They are referring to the meme about old German toilets having an ‘inspection shelf’ (Flachspüler)