Jokes on them, I grew up playing “Frontier: Elite II” on an stock Amiga 500. My reactions peak at 0.6FPS! 🎖️

Top… of the list for layoffs 🫪

Don’t ever message me again you piece of sh17.

Putting a layer just inside your nostrils to catch pollen and help with hayfever

You found the recipe? I’m still reading about how the recipe reminds them of warm summer evenings walking along the banks of the river, shortly after they adopted their rescue pup but before the birth of their first child. I’m sure the ingredients list will turn up soon.

I initially thought this was a cat-related meme for some reason

This, but wife

Me personally? No.

The drones can remain airborne for about eight minutes on a single battery charge

1. Hear drone
2. Hide for 8 minutes
3. Drone evaded

This is the first I’m heading of this ‘Nord Loneliness Epidemic’

Nicole?

Praise the prophets! A new toilet has been revealed unto me!

[Everyone disliked that]

How do you get an elephant into a bikini?

1. Open bikini
2. Remove the manatee from the bikini
3. Open fridge
4. Remove elephant from fridge
5. Insert elephant into bikini
6. Close bikini

Meme was cut short.

“How’d they get the manatee in a bikini?
And is it single?”

I toyed with the reverse scenario: Lt Dan taking Forrest and Jenny to meet the Shrimp Nazi

Jerry: She literally said, “life is like a box of chocolates”?
George: Yes, she said, “you never know what you’re gonna get.”
Jerry: “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get”?
George: Word for word.
Jerry: They have a card in them…
George: They have a menu.
Jerry: Right, the little menu card! So you know exactly what you’re getting.
George: I told her that.
Jerry: So what did you do?
George: I took that box of chocolates and I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d just run across the Upper West Side. And I figured, since I run this far, maybe I’d just run across Manhattan. And that’s what I did. I ran clear across Manhattan. For no particular reason I just kept on going.

Perhaps the Met Police Commissioner should write a strongly worded letter to Farage then? Or does he reserve that action for left-wing parties only?

Weiner touching porcelain:
hot dog on a fancy plate ✅
sitting down to pee 🤢