The (not) secret is that the thing they’re getting done is mining you for data. :D

But if you do everything yourself then how will they steal your data? :(

Right, I had a friend who had a cop show up to their house because… their grass was too long. Absolutely unhinged.

And they wonder why so many of their kids have fucked right off and joined the opposition. It’d be funny if it wasn’t such a mess.