I just really need to vent. I’ve typed this whole post out at this point and I’ve considered not posting it because I feel like it’s stupid. Feel free to not respond unless you really really want to for some reason.
I’ve been having a lot of panic attacks lately. I used to get them a lot as a kid, but I haven’t had any in many years until a few months ago. I do have an anxiety disorder diagnosis and take meds but the attacks have been getting more frequent and I’m now at the point where I’m having multiple a day.
When I get them I try laying down for a while, but I never can because my heart is always racing so fast it feels like it’s going to explode. I’ve tried timed breathing which works briefly but then I just start spiraling again. I can hardly sleep at night either because my anxiety is so bad.
I think part of why is that I got a CS bachelor’s last year and I’ve put in a lot of effort trying to find work but the job market’s fucked. I’ve been doing random odd jobs to get just enough to pay my loans. I so badly want to move on with my life but I feel very, very stuck.
Then of course, there’s US politics and being transgender and autistic makes me very scared. Yet my parents don’t like that I have an escape plan and they keep trying to insist to me that the US is the best country to ever exist and that it would be stupid of me to leave. It’s so extremely clear to me that the US sucks and I feel like I’m going crazy living with them sometimes and I can’t talk to them about it cause they really just don’t get it.
You’re not wrong about the state of the market for CS grads, I’m sorry anyone has to graduate into this. If it helps (it probably doesn’t), I suspect we’ll see a swing back to hiring humans in a few years as LLM costs go through the roof, and results fall short. Keeping your skills sharp and relevant, and extending them, will be a challenge.
If you have a plan to leave the US and try living elsewhere, but you parents don’t think leaving is a good idea, have you tried pitching it to them as a temporary thing, like a gap year, to broaden your experiences, and maybe even get sone work experience? Even if you have no intention of returning, putting in in terms that your parents might be more comfortable with may make them more amenable to it, especially if you can imply that learning that they’re right, and the US is the best place, is a likely outcome. Then, when you’ve been overseas for a year or two, you can tell them you’ve found a place you’re happy.
Not sure on that, the CS field has been oversaturated for many years now. For like 2 decades straight, it was the number one STEM field people chose. While some of it can be attributed to AI, a lot of it is simply that we don’t need that many CS majors.
The field has certainly been over saturated, and I’m not going to pretend that there’s suddenly going to be jobs for everyone, but there is going to be a huge amount of work de-sloping code bases, and relearning the instititional knowledge that’s been lost. I think that those with the right skills, and the right contacts, will be able to do well for themselves, even if the work isn’t the most exciting.