I just really need to vent. I’ve typed this whole post out at this point and I’ve considered not posting it because I feel like it’s stupid. Feel free to not respond unless you really really want to for some reason.

I’ve been having a lot of panic attacks lately. I used to get them a lot as a kid, but I haven’t had any in many years until a few months ago. I do have an anxiety disorder diagnosis and take meds but the attacks have been getting more frequent and I’m now at the point where I’m having multiple a day.

When I get them I try laying down for a while, but I never can because my heart is always racing so fast it feels like it’s going to explode. I’ve tried timed breathing which works briefly but then I just start spiraling again. I can hardly sleep at night either because my anxiety is so bad.

I think part of why is that I got a CS bachelor’s last year and I’ve put in a lot of effort trying to find work but the job market’s fucked. I’ve been doing random odd jobs to get just enough to pay my loans. I so badly want to move on with my life but I feel very, very stuck.

Then of course, there’s US politics and being transgender and autistic makes me very scared. Yet my parents don’t like that I have an escape plan and they keep trying to insist to me that the US is the best country to ever exist and that it would be stupid of me to leave. It’s so extremely clear to me that the US sucks and I feel like I’m going crazy living with them sometimes and I can’t talk to them about it cause they really just don’t get it.

  • efty@lemmy.worldEnglish
    3·
    18 days ago

    my advises/comments on that straight up without thinking a lot about it: first of all dont take advises you dont like. you are the only person who knows exxxacly what you are going through, so i could get your situation slightly wrong, dont take me or others to serious.

    imo everybody want to do somethink, but most of us are in a circle they cant get out. thats why we sent messages out there in any form with the hope that someone can help us out.

    imo you need someone who pushes you to the direction you already want to go.

    yes the us is fucked, BUT worldwide there is pressure in politics and a lot of aggression. dont underestimate this. the grass is always greener at the other side. that doesnt mean that you shouldnt go out there. you should.

    the us is NOT the best country in the world and i think a new place could help you. if moving isnt helpfull you can always go back. but be prepared and think this trough…like dont overthink, but make a lil plan. you need to start somewhere. dont waiz for the right moment.

    and my last comment: you are not alone with this. its completely normal in this time to not be alright. im am absolute not alright. you are not alright and so many more are not alright. thats okay.

    wish you the best and follow your intuition! you are strong by being yourself