Sweetums was my first thought actually, but it still works.
Fozzie: What ails you, Polyphemus, that you make such a noise, breaking the stillness of the night, and preventing us from being able to sleep? Surely no man is carrying off your sheep? Surely no man is trying to kill you either by fraud or by force?’
Sweetums: Noman is killing me by fraud; no man is killing me by force.’
Fozzie: Then, if no man is attacking you, you must be ill; when Jove makes people ill, there is no help for it, and you had better pray to your father Neptune.
The only issue I can see is relegating Fozzie to a bit part
But then the fact that she can’t hold it in any longer and blurting it out literally as they’re about to get away would absolutely be in character for her! This woman is nothing but hubris!
But then she would have to tell Polyphemus that she’s “Nobody”, which I don’t think her ego could allow.
That would be an amusing moment as she shouts for a script rewrite
Never thought about it, but don’t most of their movies have 4th wall breaks anyway?
Fair
Hearing the classic “Hi-ya!” as she jams Fozzyphemus’s walking stick into his face.
I think one of the straight-man muppets works better as Polyphemus. Fozzy works better as one of the other cyclopes asking who hurt him.
Fozzy’s eumaeus
But then we don’t get a cyclops version of Who’s On First
sweetums is the cyclops, so you wouldn’t anyway
Sweetums was my first thought actually, but it still works.
Fozzie: What ails you, Polyphemus, that you make such a noise, breaking the stillness of the night, and preventing us from being able to sleep? Surely no man is carrying off your sheep? Surely no man is trying to kill you either by fraud or by force?’
Sweetums: Noman is killing me by fraud; no man is killing me by force.’
Fozzie: Then, if no man is attacking you, you must be ill; when Jove makes people ill, there is no help for it, and you had better pray to your father Neptune.
The only issue I can see is relegating Fozzie to a bit part
could even be both “Weren’t you a cyclops?” " oh that’s my brother. good guy"
Pretty sure they have actually done that somewhere
But then the fact that she can’t hold it in any longer and blurting it out literally as they’re about to get away would absolutely be in character for her! This woman is nothing but hubris!
But think of the epic face swallow she has to do before forcing it out