It depends greatly on the queer space. Some are reserved for queer people for safety reasons just like any minority group safe space. So ask. Many do welcome allies.

As for drag, there is no direct connection between sexuality and gender presentation, especially in a performative role. As log as the intent is not to harm other drag performers, then there’s no requirement that you have a particular sexual or relationship preference to perform or to enjoy performances. Now certain venues may also be queer safe spaces, so ask before joining in drag, but otherwise drag itself is not sexual.

As for the word cunt, it depends on where you’re located. In many English dialects it’s used pretty widely to mean something like “friend”, but if you live in a place where it’s still used as an attack on women, such as the US, then I’d say no. Don’t use it. Only people in a community can reclaim words meant to attack their community. You can not do it for them just like white people can’t use the n-word pretending to be reclaiming it as an excuse.

Gay guy here. I think that dedicated queer spaces exist for good reason, but straight-identifying men like you who are secure in their masculinity are not one of those reasons. If you feel a sense of belonging in those spaces and even a desire to participate, I think you should go for it. The human experience is bizarre and wonderful, and too short for gatekeeping.

Just let a fem boy suck your dick once a month, and I’ll allow it.

Kididng. Man, you go out of your way and put your life in danger to protect queer folk and give them a safe space. Being queer is literally being the weird one. And it’s seems like you’re very much the weird one in your community. You don’t need to be gay or cross dress to allow yourself to be queer.

I’m sorry that this is off-topic, but I’m confused. You say you’re straight & cis male, but then you start talking about your “pussy” out of nowhere. Did I miss some context, or is this some drag term or aspect I’m not familiar with?

As for being an ally, I think participants will recognize your genuine interest. Just act in good faith, get to know people, and be respectful of those you grow to care about; they’ll let you know if they don’t feel comfortable around you. As for everyone else… well, you can’t please everyone!

I can’t talk about drag, it’s not really my thing. However, I am a guy who is attracted to women. As of today, all my friends are queer women and I am constantly finding myself in queer spaces. More recently I found myself in both a trans march and a dyke march. The past couple years have been nothing like the life I experienced before.

When it all began, I was extremely confused. I didn’t expect to be swept in and accepted so quickly. There have been very few moments in my life where I felt accepted. This filled me with so many thoughts and emotions.

My friends unintentionally sent me down a mental spiral for months. One called me a lesbian and when I told another unrelated friend, all she had to say was “Yeah, that tracks.” I found myself reflecting on all the ways I interacted with people throughout my life, especially with women. I really started to see myself in a different way. It was all so unexpected at times. All my life people assumed I was a closeted gay, this was the first time people saw me as me and I was confused.

I lost friends over sticking up for one of my queer friends. Part of the reason for getting fired from a previous job was because I spoke up to management about sexism in the workplace, specifically about a gay woman working in the trades. I don’t have any straight friends anymore. There are only 2 guys I talk to once or twice a year but they aren’t really friends anymore at this point.

It’s only been a couple years but I still get moments where I realize where I am and who I’m surrounded by. It fills me with anxiety sometimes. Something like an imposter syndrome. Like I’m not supposed to be there. It’s not true though and my friends keep showing up for me in ways that are unexpected to me. They also keep showing up for me too. I feel very lucky to have all of them in my life.

I don’t really tell people my sexuality. I don’t think it’s important enough to give it a name. Maybe that’s what helped me to feel more comfortable within queer spaces. I do think actions more important. If you are willing to fight and lose for people who are different than you, I think that should be enough to speak for you. Even if you don’t say it, your attitude and actions will say it loud enough.