How did the cat alert the owners? Shitting on the bed?

The fuck was the guard dog supposed to do, just stop guarding the house? That’s its fucking job. Cat was already on top of it, guard dog knew it could be a diversion so the attacker could get in. Guard dog ain’t fallin’ for that shit. Damn good dog.

It pushed the crockpot off the counter didn’t it?

Overnight chicken stock in a slow cooker is a great use for old chicken bones. I usually cook it outside so the smells don’t linger indoors.