• 4am@lemmy.zip
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    1 day ago

    It’s also kinda hot when a woman lets you see her without being all done up. It’s like a secret privilege of trust.

    • exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      12 hours ago

      Well, it’s sometimes exciting to be let into that level of intimacy, but it kinda presupposes a woman who normally has a fairly complex hair/makeup routine letting you see her without it. If going without makeup is the norm, then it’s not that intimate to be able to see the norm.

    • Katana314@lemmy.world
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      23 hours ago

      I’ve felt the same way about women bending over.

      Obviously, peering at someone’s ass can lean towards creepy or voyeuristic. Any woman knows this - many changed over to squatting to pick things up even when alone. So, if she’s okay with a full bend, even if the guy barely even looks, it’s a separate “trust kink” - that she knows he’s there and doesn’t anticipate his mind objectifying her that way.

      • velma@sh.itjust.works
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        20 hours ago

        Oh my god, you think women bending at the waist is a deliberate invitation to look at their ass?

        • Katana314@lemmy.world
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          20 hours ago

          That’s not really what I meant; just that passed-down wisdom often leads women to caution each other it’s a common (albeit undeserved) consequence.

          I wrote “Not anticipating his objectification” rather than “Not looking” because it’s often difficult to specifically make sure someone is fully outside your field of vision the moment they reach for something on the ground.

          • velma@sh.itjust.works
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            19 hours ago

            Women should be able to pick things off the floor without having to think of how many different ways they can do so that isn’t an open invitation for men to ogle their ass.

            Just because a woman bends at the waist instead of squatting doesn’t mean she’s inviting wandering eyes.

            • Katana314@lemmy.world
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              6 hours ago

              All of that is true, and doesn’t contradict what I was saying at all.

              I wasn’t interpreting anything as an “open invitation”.

              • velma@sh.itjust.works
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                6 hours ago

                Any woman knows this - many changed over to squatting to pick things up even when alone. So, if she’s okay with a full bend, even if the guy barely even looks, it’s a separate “trust kink” - that she knows he’s there and doesn’t anticipate his mind objectifying her that way.

                What does any woman know? What is a woman communicating if she’s okay with a full bend?

                Please elaborate.

                • Katana314@lemmy.world
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                  4 hours ago

                  A woman knows that:

                  Obviously, peering at someone’s ass can lean towards creepy or voyeuristic.

                  (The part of the quote you snipped out). Bending over is easier, but many women change to squatting, a trickier action, specifically because of how they’re viewed when doing so.

                  So, if a woman is in the vicinity of a guy, and chooses to bend over, she’s communicating that she at least trusts that person enough not to ogle or objectify her. Guys don’t experience a lot of trust from women in the modern day (generally for understandable reasons) so it’s touching for them to know when people feel safe around them.

                  I’m sorry that wasn’t communicated well; but I appreciate you asking for clarification.

                  • velma@sh.itjust.works
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                    4 hours ago

                    specifically because of how they’re viewed when doing so.

                    Viewed by whom? Why are women viewed a certain way when they bend over?

                    I need to make this really clear to you - a woman bending at the waist is not communicating that she trusts the people in the room. She is not doing so knowing that you will look at her ass. She is simply existing as a woman.

                    Please do not move forward in your life assuming that women are subtly signaling to people that they are welcoming being objectified and sexualized.