• Routhinator@startrek.website
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    2 days ago

    I had an ex at one time who would get mad that I didn’t check out other women.

    Like, she would assume I was doing it, but then when she realized I wasn’t it would turn into a fight about how I’m not and every guy does.

    When I’m in a relationship I really don’t have eyes for anyone else. The need to find someone just kinda turns off.

    She would also get mad and start a fight whenever I said she looked good without makeup, because I was a liar.

    After that relationship, self confidence became a huge checkbox I reviewed before entering any possible relationship.

    • HeyJoe@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      I hate makeup… i have told my wife for over a decade that I dont care for it and it looks worse in my opinion. She has mostly stopped wearing it or will do a small amount for big parties and thats it. She tells me to this day she doesnt believe me though and all I can say is that’s super sad.

        • HeyJoe@lemmy.world
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          5 hours ago

          Nope, this one was directly from growing up in a home where her own mother basically brainwashed her kids into a lot of things, and the idea of makeup being the only way to truly feel beatiful was one of them. Convinced her that it’s what guys want her entire life umong other things…

          Obviously if it was something sbe enjoyed doing and liked it as a hobby then yeah go for it. This was definitely not that though and was truly shocked when finding out it was not a necessity and for the most part something not all men find attractive.

          Also she still wears it, just on special occasions instead of every day which was crazy to me to put in all that time. Also uses way less as well when she does. Im pretty sure she was relieved even if she doesn’t truly believe me. Some parents really suck…

          • velma@sh.itjust.works
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            4 hours ago

            That’s a relief that she isn’t being asked to suppress something she enjoys and that you’re reinforcing that it’s safe for her to be as she wants to be. Thanks for expanding on your story and for being a good husband :)

            • HeyJoe@lemmy.world
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              4 hours ago

              Wellll, I don’t know if I would go that far haha. We are currently in the middle of a divorce. Nothing related to this of course. But we have been unhappy and trying for a few years now and finally said enough recently. 13 years and soon to be starting over. From what I see it’s crazy out there. I may just take the easy route and stay single for the remainder of my life lol.

              • velma@sh.itjust.works
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                4 hours ago

                Oh I feel you, fellow divorcee. The two of you were successful for a long time!

                It’s a little crazy, but it’s also fun and wild and different and deep and full of laughter if you approach it simply as being curious about other people and not so much on finding a soul mate. Staying single and dating yourself is real nice, too, definitely don’t underestimate that either :)

                • HeyJoe@lemmy.world
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                  3 hours ago

                  I feel this way as well! I was very late to the game so I know all to well what it was like to date myself. I never had any dates or experience with another woman until I met her and that was at 25. I loved the freedom I had prior, but I also wanted to experience being with someone. I guess I got my wish! At least now that I know way more I already kind of know what I want going forward. I will love the freedom again and the ability to do what I want whenever I want more than anything.

                  Knowing what I know now I have a lot more to look for in a person and knowing how hard it was to even find someone the first time I have my doubts that will ever happen haha. At least this time I will absolutely be ok with being single forever! If I ever persue another person it will be at least 1 if not 2 years after this is finalized.

      • Routhinator@startrek.website
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        2 days ago

        Agreed.

        My wife has never worn makeup and she is, in my eyes, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, flaws especially.

      • QuandaleDingle@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        I agree with ya. Wanna get a 'lil fancy with it? Eye shadow, eyeliner, lipstick, and you’re good to go. I love my black women ✨𝓝𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓪𝓵𝓮.✨