• Blackmist@feddit.uk
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    7 days ago

    If my wife bought a cute dress and only wore it once, I’d be annoyed af.

    “Fast fashion” is a plague of waste. Wear your shit until it falls apart.

    • this_1_is_mine@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      There is this one dress she wore damn near had a heart attack first time I saw her in it. If she never did again it would be a crime.

      I would be annoyed at time number 30. When she won’t wear the one I like. Because its a problem keeping it on.

    • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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      6 days ago

      Most of my wardrobe is like 15 years old. I have like 6 “new” shirts aka don’t have visible signs of wear that I wear for work and social outings. Getting new shit to wear all the time sounds like hell to me. I hate shopping for clothes because I have hard time finding shit that fits right.

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    I wish it was socially acceptable for men to wear the colorful stuff women do on formal occasions. It’s almost always black, white, grey or maybe dark blue.

    I want things like paisley suits to be considered normal. Why not? It’s just a pattern.

    I’m not saying it because I want to do it, I’m saying it because I want to see it. Make congress a sea of color rather than a bit here and a bit there.

    • ApollosArrow@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      I honestly wish more stuff that is shown on runways would make it over to men. There’s a lot of fun that can be had. Plain suits are boring, even if you add color to them.

    • DJDarren@thelemmy.club
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      7 days ago

      I wish it were acceptable for men to wear bright dresses.

      I said that to my wife a few months ago, so she said “why don’t you try on some of mine?”

      So yeah, I now have few dresses I wear around the house. They’re great. Nice and floaty.

      • bluewing@lemm.ee
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        6 days ago

        Get a kilt for the out and about look, my good fellow. While wearing one will draw some looks, it is far more acceptable and good-looking and practical than an ill-fitting woman’s dress.

        • DJDarren@thelemmy.club
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          7 days ago

          All power to kilt wearers, but I feel that it’s an inherently different thing. It’s a specifically gendered garment, a ruggedised, masculinised form of skirt that it’s acceptable for some men to wear. Cool though they are, they’re not as fun and floaty as a light skirt and a pretty dress.

        • DJDarren@thelemmy.club
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          7 days ago

          Depends on where you are, init. It was bloody glorious during the summer, walking downstairs, gathering a ball of cool air in the skirt. When it gets cold, wear leggings.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        Yeah, dresses are pretty comfortable. I did a couple of things in high school that I guess you could consider drag, except I was playing this old lady character I invented that would ramble on and on about very little in a Harvey Firestein voice because she also chain smoked.

        Anyway, I wore dresses for that. They were quite comfy. It would be awesome if a man could wear a formal dress to a formal occasion and not get stares (unless the stares were at that amazing dress he’s wearing).

        • DJDarren@thelemmy.club
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          7 days ago

          I don’t even see it as drag, because I’m not dressing as a woman. I’m a guy wearing a dress, not a guy trying to be a woman.

          Because when you really stop think about it, it makes no sense that clothes should be gendered. What is inherently ‘female’ about a dress, beyond the expectation that only women should wear them. I mentioned that somewhere on here before, to which one guy mentioned that swinging dicks might be an issue, and right, two things: 1) underwear exists, and 2) I don’t know about anyone else, but my dick doesn’t swing that low. Perhaps I’m unlucky.

          But yeah, the older I get the less sense it makes that we must dress in a specific way based on what genitals we have.

          I kinda just want to feel like my clothes look pretty sometimes. Women can dress masculine with barely a mention, so why can’t I dress feminine sometimes?

          • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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            7 days ago

            Sorry, I didn’t mean to suggest it was drag. I just was suggesting that’s what you could have called the times I wore a dress.

            It shouldn’t be drag. It should just be normalized.

    • Luminocta@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      I feel like you can, however it seems men take themselves too serious when dressing well. If you take yourself too serious as a man, wearing for example a pink suit will make you insecure.

      So dark, solemn colors are easier to accept.

      I wear suits for work and have them dark, but my social suits are light and colorful ( light blue, purple) and regardless I’ll wear fun and colorful shirts with them.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        I don’t know that you can in business or political situations. I think if a man showed up to a business meeting or a legislative session wearing a paisley suit, they would get screamed at about not having proper decorum.

        • mostdubious@lemmy.world
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          7 days ago

          well your problem was working for a bunch of uptight jerks. i wish all of you people would stop pandering to dumb shit and just tell the world to fuck off.

            • mostdubious@lemmy.world
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              7 days ago

              community alliances. food stamps. being resourceful.

              i think we’ve covered how a revolution would work prior to this. surely i’m not the first person to mention community alliances.

              you can work towards grinding your life away without meaning or you can work towards something that gives your life meaning. it’s work either way.

              • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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                7 days ago

                I’m pretty sure relying on food stamps and soup kitchens is not a revolution.

                And if you’ve ever had to survive that way, you’d know it’s fucking horrible. Especially if you have kids.

                So I guess keep wishing because people don’t want to have to resort to that.

                • meep_launcher@lemm.ee
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                  7 days ago

                  Yea I agree with squid that we should not consider the soup kitchen the place of liberation.

                  I would say as a guy who has dressed in colorful formal attire when I worked in corporate jobs that you don’t get punished. This meme is like when conservatives say “you can’t say anything anymore”. Obviously you can, and frankly most of the backlash is made up.

                • aidan@lemmy.world
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                  7 days ago

                  Especially if you have kids.

                  Exactly, I’m fine with being on edge, but its not right to force that on kids if you can help it.

                • mostdubious@lemmy.world
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                  7 days ago

                  MF i live on food stamps NOW and i help maintain food gardens NOW. fucking cowards.

                  i swear to god you’re one of the worst people on lemmy.

    • bitwolf@lemmy.one
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      6 days ago

      I once found a sick purple/red paisley suit jacket.

      At the register my family pleaded I not get it. That it’s embarrassing to wear.

      I feel you

    • odelik@lemmy.today
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      7 days ago

      I had an ex tell me once that I wore too much brown and dull greens.

      Since then I’ve been aware of my color choices and have a lot of “loud” colors in my wardrobe. I will even intentionally wear clashing colors and have made it a style choice.

      I still have browns and dull greens, but I have fun with them now.

      All that said, I’ll wear something until it starts wearing out then that’ll be relegated to chore/diy project clothes.

    • shastaxc@lemm.ee
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      7 days ago

      My fancy shirts are colorful silk patterns. I got bored of the old traditional formal wear, and I like the attention I get now.

    • Shou@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      Perhaps consider looking for decorative belt buckles, tie pins, cufflinks and similar suit accessories. It might not be flamboyant, but it may make your day. It provides that extra touch.

      Or bring multiple bow ties and change them throughout the party just to mess with people.

      • Fedizen@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        those are socially acceptable though, the post your replying to is expressing a want for wider social acceptability. Imo look at the formal kimonos and jackets worn in japan. Many of those were heavily decorated for both men and women.

        • bluewing@lemm.ee
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          6 days ago

          I have always wanted a kilt. But it’s not socially acceptable where I live and frankly impractical 6 months out of the year due to well below freezing temps. No one would say anything directly to your face, but you would be stared at and talked about behind your back by everyone.

        • Shou@lemmy.world
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          6 days ago

          Any ideas on how to transition men’s fashion? Could start with elaborate patterns and decor on suits. Shirts already have patterns of flowers, or birds on em. Why not suits too?

    • chakan2@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      Uh…it is en vouge I think. Depends on your audience, but most of the kids these days are wearing flamboyant suits and they look sharp.

      I wouldn’t go to 80 olds on very nice retirement plans for fashion advice.

        • oatscoop@midwest.social
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          4 days ago

          So there’s nothing you think twice about doing because society (specifically other men) will probably give you shit about it?

          Sure, a healthy and confident person learns to ignore it – but it’s dishonest to say it isn’t a pervasive thing. Maybe you’re fortune enough to live in a place where isn’t it’s not as bad as elsewhere, but not everyone does.

          • fuck_u_spez_in_particular@lemmy.world
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            4 days ago

            I mean I try to chose t-shirts with a minimal amount of holes^^ (which is unfortunately a problem for merino-wool I like to wear (because comfort)). But other than that I basically give a shit, about what I wear, I don’t think anyone else cares much about it either, nor do I. It’s also not a thing that anyone spoke to me about it so I guess I’m fine?

            I think it’s a lot of internalized pressure and overthinking about what to wear, so why do it, when no one really cares?

            • oatscoop@midwest.social
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              4 days ago

              internalized pressure and overthinking

              Yes, exactly that. What I’m saying it’s it’s a lot more common than it has any right to be – at least in the USA. I’m legitimately happy if you’re insulated from it and/or have the self confidence to see it for what it is and brush it off. I’m of the same mind on that in that I have the confidence to laugh at it and ignore it.

              I’m talking about the men that don’t, and how unfortunately it’s a huge problem. My experience has been the opposite: I’m in a “skilled” male dominated blue-collar job: the amount of dysfunctional, toxic masculinity I see on a daily basis is wild. Even when I was “white collar” it was there, if to a lesser degree.

              A lot of guys of all ages are deeply insecure and are falling into the “traditional manhood” grift to the detriment of themselves and those around them. The extreme examples like incels, Andrew Tate, right-wing ideas on “manhood”, “trad” idiots gaining momentum are a symptom of a far more widespread problem.

              • fuck_u_spez_in_particular@lemmy.world
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                4 days ago

                I guess that’s what I meant with “it depends on your social circle”.

                I’m a programmer (in europe btw. not sure if this is really a culture thing) around cool dudes (in my job, as I think this is where all of this mostly applies), probably helps, that they don’t give too much a shit about “prestige” and clothing etc. as well. If I had to do with a lot of “VIP” trying to sell something, the situation may be different.

                Well kinda sad to hear that, I think it’s much more important what the person is about “on the inside” (i.e. if talking bullshit, or being highly intelligent or super informed, arrogant, socially intelligent etc.) than how they look from the outside (I mean within limits, If I can smell the person from a far distance, it’s probably too much…).

                Obviously the inside/outside thing often correlates. When someone always wears fancy-dancy suits with a tie while not required, they’re probably a douche^^, shallow or having to prove something otherwise (like “I’m very important”). But after a first impression I think the “inside” dominates the perception, and defines the person… That’s at least my assessment, and why I don’t give too much shit about what the person is wearing…

                YMMV

        • Tedesche@lemmy.world
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          6 days ago

          Generally speaking, men aren’t as mean to each other as women are, but we’re also not as supportive.

    • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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      6 days ago

      That’s simply not true. That culture didn’t form in a vacuum. It’s the result of decades of marketing and other societal forces. Everyone bears some responsibility for all subcultures.

      • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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        5 days ago

        The people here who think that marketing doesn’t affect shit like this, or that they’re not affected by marketing, are exactly the kind of easy marks that marketing preys on.

  • FinishingDutch@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    As a guy, I definitely don’t give two shits about anyone wearing the same outfit. Heck, I dress like a cartoon character: I buy seven identical shirts, seven identical pants and just wear that until things need replacing.

    To an outside observer, it would look like I literally have one outfit that I wear for two months straight. I very rarely switch up a shirt when it’s either too hot or cold, but other than that, I like to keep it really simple.

      • FinishingDutch@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        You’re not far off. My basic outfit since 2020 is a pair of blue jeans and a burgundy polo shirt. I picked red because the previous series was blue, and also because I’m a Tom Scott fan.

        I’m probably going to transition to green polo shirts for a while as it’s been red since the pandemic. But the next color usually is determined by whatever polo shirt I can find in my size, and in stock so I can buy five to seven of them.

        I am a wildly boring person when it comes to fashion.

    • Matumb0@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      Love it!!

      No one is interested (or should be interested how many different clothes you have at home). Or how many good friends did you ever make because they have been wearing different cloth every days for two weeks?

      • FinishingDutch@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        No no - I’m saying that’s usually the longest uninterrupted stretch of me wearing identical outfits. I might throw on a sweater if it’s a REALLY cold day, or a T-shirt if it’s way too hot, but otherwise I’m rocking a plain burgundy polo shirt and jeans all seasons.

        The clothes themselves obviously last much longer.

        Clothes really don’t interest me much beyond being functional and fitting OK. I also don’t wear expensive brands. I do spend good money on good shoes though, as those are important for your feet health.

        • Gloomy@mander.xyz
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          6 days ago

          Ah, I see. I have been wearing a simple black T-shirt, a black pants that is either a jeans or a cargo pants and depending on the weather a sweater and a jacket for about 25 years now. Hence I am aware how long single clothes may last and was a bit confused, but that makes ydncd now.

      • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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        5 days ago

        The bar is on the floor for men, and unreasonably high for women.
        Women put some of those restrictions on each other, but largely as a byproduct of the society they were raised in.

        It’s a privilege in the same way that having a shoulder to cry on is a female privilege.

        If you’re going to try to argue that society doesn’t push people into certain roles or to think in certain ways, or that men aren’t also involved in creating the parts of society that determine roles for women, then I don’t think we can have a meaningful exchange.

        • Tedesche@lemmy.world
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          4 days ago

          It’s a privilege in the same way that having a shoulder to cry on is a female privilege.

          I don’t consider that female privilege. I think we just have different definitions for what privilege is or more likely where we draw the line. To me, privilege is something more concrete and impactful, like men being trusted more in leadership roles or women being more trusted around kids.

          • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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            4 days ago

            But they’re related. They’re different facets of the same thing: the roles and expectations that society forces people into.

            Setting aside what you do and don’t think is impactful, the point is that these are expectations that society puts on people, and where these expectations come from is complex. Have you ever heard of the Five Whys? It can be a helpful way to look at these problems; it can’t capture the complexity but it illustrates that the causes run deep.

            For example, there are some pretty easily accessible YouTube videos (podcasts?) on the history of the women’s fashion and cosmetics industries, and how they pivoted their marketing to great effect to sell products to women by pressing these kinds of expectations into society, and those marketing teams contain a lot of men. This doesn’t explain all of history, but it’s an example of what I’m talking about.

            And always remember; hurt people hurt people.

            • Tedesche@lemmy.world
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              4 days ago

              Yeah, I understand all of that, I just don’t think we should be using the term “privilege” for every little echo of history. Are men’s pockets a form of privilege? Women are privileged to have more variety of tops? At a certain point, the term loses all meaning.

              • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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                4 days ago

                If by “loses all meaning” you mean “loses significance” then there is some truth to that, but I leave it up to the general opinion of the people who are put at risk by that loss of significance to decide when it becomes a problem.

                Realistically I think that it was probably meant as a half joke, as in its funny in how unserious it is, but also a real criticism in how pervasive this kind of toxic behavior is.
                I think that the reply, that men aren’t involved in it, is taking an willfully ignorant stance.

                • Tedesche@lemmy.world
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                  3 days ago

                  I mean that using a charged term to describe a trivial issue or problem is a form of hysteria and drama-seeking. The issue being cited in the image is trivial and—as pointed out by the response—maintained pretty much entirely by women. There’s a point at which you have to stop blaming things on gender inequalities, because regardless of whether or not they can be traced back to cultural conditioning, the simplest solution is that you personal responsibility and stop conforming to them. The problem isn’t that other women will criticize you for wearing the same dress twice; they’re problem is that you care.

  • EnderMB@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    I would honestly love to own multiple suits, but ultimately as someone that works in tech the only times I ever get to wear a suit is a wedding or a funeral. All my friends are married, so that basically leaves a black/dark suit for weddings.

  • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    I just asked one hundred men. They said no, they don’t care. They suggest not wearing anything is better. Also. Did you you gals take the keys? Most men are currently looking for them. We are sure we used them yesterday after work to park the van. C’mon gals! Where the heck are th…found them! The keys where behind everyone’s couches. Sorry! Yes we will take out the trash, but we gotta go check with Dave first. He had some stuff he was working on in all of Dave’s garages. Rick too, but mostly Dave. We’ll be back by 7…mmmkay?

      • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        Sorry Tony. I just woke up. I don’t know. I’m not the same man who wrote those words. In the Internet, no one knows if you’re a dog, a bag or snails or a pack of crazy rats all tied to the keyboard.

  • doggle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    7 days ago

    Unfortunately, from what I’ve heard, there absolutely are weird old dudes who will notice and comment on it

    • LovableSidekick@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      And as a guy I was informed by a woman at an annual auction that I was wearing the same aloha shirt I wore at the previous year’s auction. Which is weird considering that I have almost 50 aloha shirts. So now I’m wondering if she was wrong, or it was an incredible coincidence, or I actually do have a “favorite auction shirt”.

      • odelik@lemmy.today
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        7 days ago

        Intentionally wear the same one next time and if she says something you can tell her it’s your lucky auction shirt.

    • Sylvartas@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      Well, for what it’s worth, I have literally never heard anything like that from even the most misogynistic men I am or was acquainted with. Don’t get me wrong, they definitely had some awful things to say about how a woman dresses, but that specific one was not one of them. The few times I’ve heard similar comments, it was a woman doing it to try embarrassing another woman.

      • FelixCress@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        I have literally never heard anything like that from even the most misogynistic men I am or was acquainted with

        That’s because men really don’t give a fuck if women wear the same outfit multiple times. Most of men don’t even notice.

      • Victor@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        Maybe it’s not about the origin of each and every individual specific possible insult about a woman’s appearance, but rather the whole concept of the importance of their appearance. If you all are catching my drift.

        I’m not saying it’s like this. I’m just asking “new” questions to make us all think. Maybe it’s not like that. But it’s food for thought perhaps.

  • gramie@lemmy.ca
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    8 days ago

    Just in case anyone is wondering how true this is, about 10 years ago, an Australian TV anchor decided to keep wearing the same suit and see how long it took people to notice.

    After a year, no one had mentioned it.

    That said, I agree with the man’s statement that it would overwhelmingly be women who criticized other women for wearing the same clothes.

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      8 days ago

      an Australian TV anchor decided to keep wearing the same suit and see how long it took people to notice.

      There’s a running joke in sitcoms, particularly with B-list characters, where a kid breaks into their house and finds a closet full of the same identical outfit over and over again. I know the Simpsons did it with Principle Skinner. I’m pretty sure Save By The Bell did it with Principle Belding. There was some 80s pod-person movie that used the trope as well.

      There’s also a classic joke about groomsmen all dressing the same during a wedding, so if anything happens to the groom you just have the whole crew slide over to the right and keep on trucking.

      I vaguely remember some Econ joke about guys being a fungible commodity.

      None of these are intended to be complimentary.

      it would overwhelmingly be women who criticized other women for wearing the same clothes

      Definitely different standards. Although I’ve found this tends to take hold as women get older and start climbing the workforce ladder. You’ll find plenty of college girls (particularly during exam time) who give absolutely zero shits about their appearance. Also, when women are unemployed.

      • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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        7 days ago

        I associate it with cartoons. Bart Simpson has been wearing the same orange shirt and blue shorts for 30 years now. I remember an episode of Doug where you see his closet and it’s like twelve identical sets of white shirt, green sweatervest, tan shorts.

        • angrystego@lemmy.world
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          7 days ago

          The female characters in the Simosons wear the same clothes all the time as well, now that I think about it.

      • pjwestin@lemmy.world
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        8 days ago

        There’s a running joke in sitcoms, particularly with B-list characters, where a kid breaks into their house and finds a closet full of the same identical outfit over and over again.

        More true for cartoons than sitcoms. Rosanne actually fought with the producers on her show to have her characters reuse outfits. She hated how supposedly working class characters on TV somehow never wore the same outfit twice. She even had some pieces of clothing get handed down to the younger actors when the older ones outgrew them. It’s a shame she became a right-wing loon, because she was one of the few people to make a realistic sitcom about working class people (only other one I can think of is Malcolm in the Middle).

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          6 days ago

          because she was one of the few people to make a realistic sitcom about working class people (only other one I can think of is Malcolm in the Middle).

          in the middle also did a fantastic job at this and i think better in some respects compared to malcom in the middle.

          i also grieved when roseanne’s lunacy caused the show to end the 2nd time; i had identified with the show in it’s earlier run because the characters were expecting their electricity to be cut at the same time we expected it growing up in my own home and it felt like my tv home since then. i’m glad the connor’s are a thing.

        • nomous@lemmy.world
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          8 days ago

          It’s really hard to overstate how different Rosanne was when it first aired. They had money problems, they’d yell at their kids sometimes, they weren’t perfect. They were a “normal” family on TV that people could relate to.

          • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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            7 days ago

            It’s also really hard to explain that Roseanne used to be what appeared to be a sane and reasonable person with good ideas.

          • chiliedogg@lemmy.world
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            8 days ago

            Not only did they have money problems, but they absolutely affected the family. There wasn’t the “money isn’t really important” message at the end of the episodes so many shows go with. Money’s extremely important - especially when you don’t have it.

            Being working-class was hard, and it had an impact in every aspect of their lives.

    • Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
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      7 days ago

      At the same time a local TV personality (Christiane Charrette) has been dressing the same way since at least the 90s and no one cares… She found something that fits her well and adopted it.