• RBWells@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Looking at late 20s as old blows my mind. I looked at a genealogy site and so many of my ancestresses married in their late 20s. I was surprised by that but apparently it’s never been uncommon. My mom too, she married around age 30.

    • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      late 20s is when a lot of my friends gave up on what they thought were their ideal partners and ended up happy with people they never considered in the past.

    • volore@scribe.disroot.org
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      1 day ago

      yeah no I haven’t even managed to lose my v-card or really even have a meaningful romantic relationship, about the closest I came was someone leading me on and playing mind games with me for a few months. 🙃

      Given my success so far, it’s easy to extrapolate “when will I find the one?” to “probably never”.

      • Gentryfried@feddit.ukOP
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        1 day ago

        This is unsolicited advice so feel free to ignore, especially if it sounds “twee.”

        What i think helps is:
        • having a positive mindset, because it’s almost like people can sense when you are yearning to get into a relationship
        • in the same vein, treat potential mates as potential good friends. Your first few meetings with them is like their “informal interviews for being a friend.” You can invite them on a date (or just to do something together as friends)1 which is the final interview, which lets them get the higher position in your social circle.
        • I don’t say that to complicate what should already be simple; firstly, it’s getting not simple in this day age, because people don’t know what to do with all the dating apps and SM. Secondly, the message is just create a more relaxed low pressure atmosphere for them
        • to revisit the first point - this is just something many people say, and i have experienced in my own life: stop seeking a partner and one will stumble into your life. This might be why people already committed relationships get a lot of attention; they seem self satisfied.

        I also just want to say that more people are in your position than you think ❤️. Zoomed are the most sexless and relationship generation, after all.

        • volore@scribe.disroot.org
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          1 day ago

          Yes, actually I’ve ceased actively looking for a partner for the better part of a year now. Little has changed, except I now have fewer apps on my phone. (I do still maintain one dating profile on an open source app but I check it on the order of twice a year because the app is dead, feel free to guess which)

          More room for memes is cool, I guess

          also I’ve tried solicited advice and it rarely helps either, so I don’t really care. It’s on me whether I follow it, and terrible advice is usually not subtle to everyone reading in a public forum. Do your worst, none of us are getting any younger.