At one point, I was undergoing a divorce that threatened to ruin me financially and estrange me from my kids. The stress triggered an underlying previously unknown-to-me autoimmune disease (Crohn’s) that left me in wracking pain and unable to control my bowels. At the same time, my job was threatened and I had to pull 10+ hour debugging sessions. And because of contentious divorce allegations, I was getting drug tested and couldn’t even chew an edible.
It was during those months that I learned:
I cannot self-terminate. If I could, I would have.
Graduate-level science and math courses on YouTube that you are not actually getting graded on are the greatest salvation. No stress, only info that is real, challenging, and deeply meaningful.
Honestly it was when I was very ready to kill myself - got a manual with different suicide techniques and found one acceptable to me and was going to a hardware store to buy everything - that I finally checked myself into rehab. Sometimes you do need to hit rock bottom.
I almost did once. I planned to overdose on Tylenol. But I threw a ‘Hail Mary’ and reported that I was suicidal.
It was enough to get me admitted and I was given, finally, an accurate diagnosis of my mental health. It took a while before the right meds and dosage were prescribed.
A part of me told me that I hadn’t yet tried everything, LOL. I’m lucky. Clinical depression is no joke. I’m glad that you can’t self-delete, bruv. Life sucks. I’m sorry about your divorce, as well.
At one point, I was undergoing a divorce that threatened to ruin me financially and estrange me from my kids. The stress triggered an underlying previously unknown-to-me autoimmune disease (Crohn’s) that left me in wracking pain and unable to control my bowels. At the same time, my job was threatened and I had to pull 10+ hour debugging sessions. And because of contentious divorce allegations, I was getting drug tested and couldn’t even chew an edible.
It was during those months that I learned:
I have learned this too. It’s like the darkest sentence ever, lol. (Assuming you replace the middle period with a ; semicolon or dash)
But I’m proud of you and super impressed. Interested in the math and science courses if you have them to-hand
Start with Lenny Susskind, who saved my life with The Theoretical Minimum
https://youtu.be/iJfw6lDlTuA
Honestly it was when I was very ready to kill myself - got a manual with different suicide techniques and found one acceptable to me and was going to a hardware store to buy everything - that I finally checked myself into rehab. Sometimes you do need to hit rock bottom.
I almost did once. I planned to overdose on Tylenol. But I threw a ‘Hail Mary’ and reported that I was suicidal.
It was enough to get me admitted and I was given, finally, an accurate diagnosis of my mental health. It took a while before the right meds and dosage were prescribed.
A part of me told me that I hadn’t yet tried everything, LOL. I’m lucky. Clinical depression is no joke. I’m glad that you can’t self-delete, bruv. Life sucks. I’m sorry about your divorce, as well.