Source: https://mastodon.neilzone.co.uk/@neil/117201000187721159
transcript
Neil Brown @[email protected]
# Email from AliExpress:
Your parcel has moved two centimetres to the right. We will update you as soon as it moves.
# Another email from AliExpress:
It has moved! Your parcel has moved another two centimetres to the right.
# Email from UK parcel delivery company:
We have your parcel. It is probably somewhere in the UK, between arrival and departure. At some point, we will chuck it in your general direction. Your driver’s name will be Ethan.
Sep 02, 2026, 10:35 AM
it gets funnier when distribution centers are destroyed by drones and missiles and you get letters about your package status going from “the center is busted, the package is likely probably gone” to “lucky you, we found it! but it is a chunk of coal. But we found it!”
Literally today I got an update from Alibaba telling me the actual flight number of my shipment including the departure and landing time of the flight. Canada Post also sent me an update today saying my package was redirected due to a processing error and that there is a possible delay.
Being in the EU and buying something from the UK:
click buy
5 hours later: “Your package has arrived at the UK distribution centre. We will email you again when it is en route to your country.”
A month later: “Your package has been shipped.”
The next day: “Your package has arrived at your country’s depot and will be delivered today.”
3 hours later: “Your package has been delivered.”
I bought 5 things from a seller on ebay and for some reason they decided to send them in individual packages. All 5 arrived at the depot, 20 minutes from my house at the same time and they then sat there for a week. I then proceeded to have 1 arrive per day over 5 days.
Well done evri, you are idiots.
Evri? Well, that explains it.
Meanwhile, when you order from Wish you will receive no order updates whatsoever. But they’ll send an email after three months asking you if by any chance your package happened to show up.
