• CommissarVulpin@lemmy.world
      6·
      2 hours ago

      A man in Moscow goes up to a newsstand and buys a newspaper.

      He then glances at the front page, then turns aside and tosses the whole newspaper straight into the trash.

      Next day, he turns up, and does the same thing. Buys it, glances at the front page, throws it in the trash.

      Next day, same thing. The newsstand worker is increasingly puzzled, but doesn’t say anything.

      But eventually, after a couple of weeks of this, he can’t take it. “I’m sorry, friend, but I must ask: why do you buy the paper every day and then just look at the front page and throw it out?”

      “Oh, I’m just checking for something.”

      “OK, but: what are you checking for?”

      “I’m checking for a particular obituary.”

      “But sir, you don’t even open the newspaper! The obituaries aren’t even on the front page!”

      “Oh, believe me, the one I’m waiting for will be.”

  • masterspace@lemmy.caEnglish
    7·
    4 hours ago

    Whenever someone starts a story with something like

    “can you believe this maddening thing I saw online?”

    all I hear is

    “can you believe I got outraged using the outrage machine?”

    • Čauky Mňauky@lemmy.zip
      2·
      27 minutes ago

      Reddit for me.
      I used to think, “I’m not even spending that much time on there.” One day, I took the plunge and blocked it on the router level. Only then, I realized how much time I had wasted every day and how much the FOMO-inducing, pay-to-play “viral” political and corporate posts and heavily brigaded and botted discussions had taken a toll on my mental health.
      Honestly feels like I started a new life, like I’m myself again. I have so much time now for my hobbies and crafts, for dating, dining and traveling, or just relaxing.