It’s not special in some cosmic sense. You’re not losing a part of your soul.
But as the other dude said, you’re experiencing something very intense & intimate for the first time. That moment is significant for the vast majority of people.
I didn’t say that having sex with a new person for the first time isn’t special, I said there is nothing special about virginity itself. Sure I said it in a crass offhand way, but that was what I said.
Women are taught our virginity is this incredibly important special thing that needs to be held close and only given to that one special person. We are taught our virginity is so sacred that it must be cherished. This creates the idea that after a woman has sex for the first time, she is somehow broken or unclean. It creates a hierarchy of women who have lost their virginity and women who haven’t. You would not believe how many of my friends treated me like a slut because I lost my virginity to my boyfriend at the time, a guy I dated for over 2 years after. But because we were horny and fucked after dating for 2 weeks (something I brought up before him), that made me a whore. Just me though, not him, he got high fives from friends.
The point is, maybe we should stop teaching people that women’s virginity is sacred and teach them about how to have safe sex instead. Perhaps if we taught people about safe and healthy sex as a natural activity that many people engage in, young virgin girls wouldn’t be something that adult men thirst so hard for.
Notice it’s only women’s virginity that is held to this standard, not men’s virginity. Whether you like it or not, putting women’s virginity on a pedestal the way people do, it’s perpetuating purity culture and patriarchy. It’s another to see women as lesser than men.
And when women, like me, admit it was nothing special, we are shamed. The example is all the men trying to convince me that I’m wrong about virginity or that I’m some special case because I wasn’t traumatized.
You are conflating two different things. The post is about virginity being “significant” but your position seems to be more about your first sex being “especially good” which is not what any person ever claims.
Also no one is shaming you in this thread. I guess maybe you had bad experiences elsewhere? There is nothing shameful with not caring about your virginity but that isn’t a common position.
The very first comment I replied to opened with a man stating “What a stupid take” because a woman said she is going to teach her daughter that virginity is not some special thing that a boy can take away from her. The first comment mentions that it “needs to be with someone special”, that is putting virginity on a pedestal. It should be with someone who isn’t an asshole and wants you to have fun too sure, but they don’t need to be special. Young folks should be educated on how to have safe sex and make it fun, if they choose to have sex at all.
I am being told in comments that I am some special case or an outlier, using anecdotal data btw, because I am a woman who was not traumatized my first time having sex and I am saying sex is just sex. Even first time having sex is still just sex. And it’s always women’s virginity that gets treated this way, never men’s virginity. Men get a high five when they fuck for the first time, women get treated like we are sluts. Like there is something special about virgin women.
Treating virginity as something to be treasured that someone can take from you is exactly why women feel shamed for enjoying sex. It’s perpetuating purity culture and the idea that women are wrong because we also enjoy fucking.
Blegh. So much loaded language. A MAN said one thing in reference to something a WOMAN said. How dare he.
IMO sex should always be with some one special to you, it’s not respecting your own body to just go fuck whoever. That’s my perspective on it, I’m not calling those that disagree with it a whore but it’s how I feel people should treat their own body. Why take on the various risks of sex with some random person you don’t care about? At that point why not just Jack or Jill yourself. And yes, that applies to men too - which I assume will blow your mind. Similar to how I think people should eat healthy foods… those that don’t aren’t morally wrong they just aren’t setting themselves up for success and IMO making a mistake.
I agree most western cultures put too much emphasis on female virginity, catholicism stands out, but IMO you’ve gone way too far in the opposite direction into “sex literally has no cost” which is factually wrong.
Dude you don’t decide if people are respecting their bodies the right way.
This IS some puritanical shit.
If you are so fragile that the wrong vag will destroy you than please do your dew dilligence and don’t fuck anyone you haven’t vetted thouroughly. But don’t speak like you have any authority over the rest of us.
I don’t “decide” if they are, like in an objective sense. I’m perfectly capable of creating opinions on the subject. Which is exactly what you’re doing; you think it’s fine. That’s an opinion. We have both formed opinions on the subject.
the wrong vag will destroy you
I mean it could give me an incurable STD. Or lead to a kid in the world that I didn’t want. Each would destroy a part of me.
Your mistake was thinking I don’t have standards around sex, but sure, after your comments, I totally believe that you don’t call people who disagree with you about sex whores. I totally believe you 🙃
Enjoy being a prude…err sorry, having “standards”, I’m going to go have safe sex right now and then go to bed, you should try having some fun sometime 🤘
I mean I’m a guy but that doesn’t match what literally any girl in my life has ever said.
They pretty much all share a similar story about them being extremely nervous and it being uncomfortable awkward sex. No one described it as “magical” and also no one described it as “just another Wednesday”.
It’s not special in some cosmic sense. You’re not losing a part of your soul.
But as the other dude said, you’re experiencing something very intense & intimate for the first time. That moment is significant for the vast majority of people.
I didn’t say that having sex with a new person for the first time isn’t special, I said there is nothing special about virginity itself. Sure I said it in a crass offhand way, but that was what I said.
Women are taught our virginity is this incredibly important special thing that needs to be held close and only given to that one special person. We are taught our virginity is so sacred that it must be cherished. This creates the idea that after a woman has sex for the first time, she is somehow broken or unclean. It creates a hierarchy of women who have lost their virginity and women who haven’t. You would not believe how many of my friends treated me like a slut because I lost my virginity to my boyfriend at the time, a guy I dated for over 2 years after. But because we were horny and fucked after dating for 2 weeks (something I brought up before him), that made me a whore. Just me though, not him, he got high fives from friends.
The point is, maybe we should stop teaching people that women’s virginity is sacred and teach them about how to have safe sex instead. Perhaps if we taught people about safe and healthy sex as a natural activity that many people engage in, young virgin girls wouldn’t be something that adult men thirst so hard for.
Notice it’s only women’s virginity that is held to this standard, not men’s virginity. Whether you like it or not, putting women’s virginity on a pedestal the way people do, it’s perpetuating purity culture and patriarchy. It’s another to see women as lesser than men.
I feel like that moment is pretty insignificant to most young girls.
And when women, like me, admit it was nothing special, we are shamed. The example is all the men trying to convince me that I’m wrong about virginity or that I’m some special case because I wasn’t traumatized.
You are conflating two different things. The post is about virginity being “significant” but your position seems to be more about your first sex being “especially good” which is not what any person ever claims.
Also no one is shaming you in this thread. I guess maybe you had bad experiences elsewhere? There is nothing shameful with not caring about your virginity but that isn’t a common position.
The very first comment I replied to opened with a man stating “What a stupid take” because a woman said she is going to teach her daughter that virginity is not some special thing that a boy can take away from her. The first comment mentions that it “needs to be with someone special”, that is putting virginity on a pedestal. It should be with someone who isn’t an asshole and wants you to have fun too sure, but they don’t need to be special. Young folks should be educated on how to have safe sex and make it fun, if they choose to have sex at all.
I am being told in comments that I am some special case or an outlier, using anecdotal data btw, because I am a woman who was not traumatized my first time having sex and I am saying sex is just sex. Even first time having sex is still just sex. And it’s always women’s virginity that gets treated this way, never men’s virginity. Men get a high five when they fuck for the first time, women get treated like we are sluts. Like there is something special about virgin women.
Treating virginity as something to be treasured that someone can take from you is exactly why women feel shamed for enjoying sex. It’s perpetuating purity culture and the idea that women are wrong because we also enjoy fucking.
Maybe my position should be more common.
Blegh. So much loaded language. A MAN said one thing in reference to something a WOMAN said. How dare he.
IMO sex should always be with some one special to you, it’s not respecting your own body to just go fuck whoever. That’s my perspective on it, I’m not calling those that disagree with it a whore but it’s how I feel people should treat their own body. Why take on the various risks of sex with some random person you don’t care about? At that point why not just Jack or Jill yourself. And yes, that applies to men too - which I assume will blow your mind. Similar to how I think people should eat healthy foods… those that don’t aren’t morally wrong they just aren’t setting themselves up for success and IMO making a mistake.
I agree most western cultures put too much emphasis on female virginity, catholicism stands out, but IMO you’ve gone way too far in the opposite direction into “sex literally has no cost” which is factually wrong.
Dude you don’t decide if people are respecting their bodies the right way. This IS some puritanical shit.
If you are so fragile that the wrong vag will destroy you than please do your dew dilligence and don’t fuck anyone you haven’t vetted thouroughly. But don’t speak like you have any authority over the rest of us.
I don’t “decide” if they are, like in an objective sense. I’m perfectly capable of creating opinions on the subject. Which is exactly what you’re doing; you think it’s fine. That’s an opinion. We have both formed opinions on the subject.
I mean it could give me an incurable STD. Or lead to a kid in the world that I didn’t want. Each would destroy a part of me.
🤣 I literally never said that and mentioned teaching youth safe sex in most of my comments, but you do you and stay prude dude ✌️
TIL having literally any standards around sex makes you a prude 🤣
Your mistake was thinking I don’t have standards around sex, but sure, after your comments, I totally believe that you don’t call people who disagree with you about sex whores. I totally believe you 🙃
Enjoy being a prude…err sorry, having “standards”, I’m going to go have safe sex right now and then go to bed, you should try having some fun sometime 🤘
I mean I’m a guy but that doesn’t match what literally any girl in my life has ever said.
They pretty much all share a similar story about them being extremely nervous and it being uncomfortable awkward sex. No one described it as “magical” and also no one described it as “just another Wednesday”.