• TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    51·
    15 hours ago

    there’s a secret third option “I don’t know if I can do something about it, I keep trying different things, and things keep failing through and going wrong, and I keep trying again and getting up hope, and I keep failing and being disappointed, but should i try other things? but wait maybe this’ll work, that’s exciting! But what if it doesn’t work like everything else… aaaaaaa I’m stressed”

    then it does make sense to worry

    • dingus@lemmy.worldEnglish
      2·
      7 hours ago

      I don’t know. I feel like I had that mentality for a while, actually. It led to an increase amount of background stress which would then increase exponentially when I would “fail”.

      Letting go of that mentality helped me to be a lot more at peace. Don’t get me wrong, it still creeps back up from time to time. I’m only human, after all.

      But life isn’t a series of fails and wins. Life just is. Events occur. Some bring us up a bit and some bring us down a bit. You can’t control everything about the universe. Things happen. Time passes. You do the best you can in life and see what events will unfold. Be gentle to yourself when negative things happen. You can’t control everything. You are a human being, not a robot. Not a deity.

      Or maybe landing on a specific psych med helped me a bit too idk.

  • fdnomad@programming.devEnglish
    17·
    13 hours ago

    You can always

    1. try to change a situation
    2. try to remove yourself from a situation
    3. try to accept a situation

    The worst thing you can do it be lazy about changing / leaving a situation yet constantly complain about it.

  • Lumidaub@feddit.orgEnglish
    34·
    15 hours ago

    Can you do something about it?

    ☐ yes
    ☐ no
    ☒ maybe?? something might occur to me if i just think hard enough about it?? not like that hasn’t worked in the past.

      • Lumidaub@feddit.orgEnglish
        2·
        6 hours ago

        I know. But anytime I actively tell myself “don’t overthink it, relax and see what’s coming, accept that you don’t have the answer”, it goes wrong, I forget shit, I overlook shit, it turns out I could’ve done something and didn’t and now it’s a mess.

        • dingus@lemmy.worldEnglish
          2·
          6 hours ago

          Idk maybe, but you sound a bit like my coworker. She overthinks shit to death more than anyone else I know. Because the times she doesn’t, she thinks this stuff happens, as you say.

          And you know what…to some degree it can. But I think the bigger thing is to learn to be ok with the mess. Because you aren’t perfect. No one is. More relaxed people seem to be tolerant of a higher degree of “mess” that you are. And they lead much happier lives that way.

          I know…easier said than done. And the “mess” can be scary and unpleasant. But learning to let go can really do wonders for mental health.

  • AItoothbrush@lemmy.zipEnglish
    3·
    10 hours ago

    Ohhhhh no no, theres a misunderstanding. I dont have a problem with being helpless, my problem is that i cant get myself to solve stuff i know i can and i stress about that

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.worldEnglish
      7·
      14 hours ago

      Alternatively, what if you can do something about it but you’re not sure what that is, so you’re caught in decision paralysis. And then outsider observers call that “lazy” because it’s easier than empathizing with someone who is experiencing a pronounced difficulty?

  • MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net
    1·
    15 hours ago

    All I see is a head blissfully rolling off of a pathway into the sweetness of oblivion, one question at a time.