Nothing in the world seems to help. I spent forever trying to find something to watch, but literally nothing felt good. Even when I eventually put something on it felt empty and I just ended up staring at the wall. I tried playing videos games, some of which I really love, and I turned them all off after a few minutes. I’ve tried other things too. Half the time I don’t even eat. Time passes in slow motion, like some kind of purgatory. The worst is I can’t even sleep. I have the next few days off and they’re going to feel like an eternity. It actually scares me. How do you get through this? I’m desperate.
For what it’s worth, I see a therapist weekly and I’m on a few different medications. This particular bout of sadness is caused by an especially painful rejection.
It’s good to have that awareness. Fear of abandonment doesn’t just moderate how we connect with people, it moderates how we feel about connection, during connection, etc.
I’m not the biggest fan of CBT - I think it can be used in a way that’s too clinical rather than felt - but wading into the beliefs you have about abandonment and self-worth can be very valuable. We can’t confront something until we shine a light on it.
Once the beliefs and feelings are labeled to some extent, the next step with CBT could be to identify the cognitive ( C ) distortions in those beliefs and then explore what a more balanced substitute could look like. Then by examining the behavioural (B) influence those beliefs had on you, you can try out new behaviours too. That kind of therapy (T) can help flush emotional states that have been stuck for some time.
But the mechanics of CBT aren’t enough. A well attuned therapist is what makes it more than the sum of its parts.