If I’m invited I’m 100% going, I just don’t get invited

But I am le tired.

We all have to thread the needle between showing up and maintaining our relationships and caring for ourself and not overdoing it.

That balance is unique to each of us. Do your best.

I liked having friends when I was a kid. Being friends with adults is complicated and exhausting.

I gave up.

“nobody wants to work anymore” energy.

i do, i like being a friend most the time. I get excited when my friends talk to me or invite me out. And if they need to talk, I will always lend an ear.

I am friends with people I do things with.

By never doing things I avoid having friends.

It’s really quite nice.

You are my friend. It’s your job to drag me to said party against my will.

I’ll go, but Imma be REALLY unpleasant the entire time. And you’re GOING to ask me why I even came… But I’ll do that for my friend.

If I push through it and ignore my needs, I will have a meltdown and that’s no fun for anybody. That being said, my friends are a priority and I’ll always be there for them as long as I’m physically able.

I don’t think the reasons why matter all that much. If someone’s not coming to the shared experiences (a party, a get together, a nice chat, whatever) then they’re not paying into the relationship.

Whether or not I’m a good friend also depends on the friend’s needs. If their needs are like mine, then they’ll probably be content with what I’m ready to offer. If not, that’s okay. Can’t be everyone’s friend anyway.

You have to nurture friendships with care. That looks different for everyone. But if you don’t ever show up, don’t reciprocate energy etc…the other person is going to feel that. It is a hurtful and draining experience for the other person over the long term. I’ve heard the term “energy vampire” which is one way these kinds of paradigms end up. I’ll always pivot for a friend because Ive made that kind of relationship a priority.

Because classmate is not a friend?

This is why I avoid friendships with most people, they seemingly come with such long list of expectations that are completely unmanageable for me.