So besides the obvious of transitioning and meeting my wife, the big one is getting comfortable socializing and becoming part of communities.
I used to have crippling social anxiety, like, I felt like an intruder with no right to be there going to the grocery store (and I still struggle with that instinct). But I made a point early into my transition to start going to events I was interested in. It was college so it was easier to find them, but events still happen outside college you just have to look harder for them.
I made friends, and those friends dragged me to stuff. I even worked up the courage to go to a social meetup for the local bdsm community, which I’d been interested in. And slowly but surely I learned that there’s a lot to gain and little downside to going to an advertised event that seems fun, and that if I’m interested in doing something I should look for it. This is everything from meetups to classes to whatever. If I won’t know anyone that’s ok, I can just say I’m new and interested in it.
I’ve moved time zones away and within a year built community and made friends in my new home. I’ve run groups solely because I was tired of waiting for someone else to run them. I met my wife while attending an event alone (she was too) and just flirting with her.
I’m still fucking awkward irl, I’m still nervous going to something new or where I’m not well known, I still get a rush of fear going into some public spaces. But I know I can handle it, and I know how to make friends, and I know it’s not going to be a catastrophe if things go wrong or I screw up. I also know I’m much happier when I leave my apartment and meet up with people.
I think this is a skill a lot of people really need to learn.
Other big ones are getting into cycling and going pescatarian.
I was out of shape, focusing on strength training for attractiveness over the pandemic when I had an incident of getting embarrassingly winded in front of friends, one of whom was a nurse that was concerned for my health. So I started running, but running fucking sucks even if you get a runners high, I’m sorry to those that like it, they’re wrong. My wife then told me about a bicycle co-op she knew about and we got me a bike. It’s fun to ride, it’s fun to work on, and it keeps me in shape. But even more importantly it does wonders for my energy and mental health when I bike regularly, as well as giving me a fun exertion activity when I need to process stuff. And there’s the added bonus of it making my butt and thighs look fucking amazing.
Pescatarianism (with a plant and dairy focus) helped with my anxiety, improved my mood, and improved my bowel movements. And on that note fiber supplements have been a wonderful addition to my life, has been my bidet. I really can’t recommend psylium husk highly enough.
So besides the obvious of transitioning and meeting my wife, the big one is getting comfortable socializing and becoming part of communities.
I used to have crippling social anxiety, like, I felt like an intruder with no right to be there going to the grocery store (and I still struggle with that instinct). But I made a point early into my transition to start going to events I was interested in. It was college so it was easier to find them, but events still happen outside college you just have to look harder for them.
I made friends, and those friends dragged me to stuff. I even worked up the courage to go to a social meetup for the local bdsm community, which I’d been interested in. And slowly but surely I learned that there’s a lot to gain and little downside to going to an advertised event that seems fun, and that if I’m interested in doing something I should look for it. This is everything from meetups to classes to whatever. If I won’t know anyone that’s ok, I can just say I’m new and interested in it.
I’ve moved time zones away and within a year built community and made friends in my new home. I’ve run groups solely because I was tired of waiting for someone else to run them. I met my wife while attending an event alone (she was too) and just flirting with her.
I’m still fucking awkward irl, I’m still nervous going to something new or where I’m not well known, I still get a rush of fear going into some public spaces. But I know I can handle it, and I know how to make friends, and I know it’s not going to be a catastrophe if things go wrong or I screw up. I also know I’m much happier when I leave my apartment and meet up with people.
I think this is a skill a lot of people really need to learn.
Other big ones are getting into cycling and going pescatarian.
I was out of shape, focusing on strength training for attractiveness over the pandemic when I had an incident of getting embarrassingly winded in front of friends, one of whom was a nurse that was concerned for my health. So I started running, but running fucking sucks even if you get a runners high, I’m sorry to those that like it, they’re wrong. My wife then told me about a bicycle co-op she knew about and we got me a bike. It’s fun to ride, it’s fun to work on, and it keeps me in shape. But even more importantly it does wonders for my energy and mental health when I bike regularly, as well as giving me a fun exertion activity when I need to process stuff. And there’s the added bonus of it making my butt and thighs look fucking amazing.
Pescatarianism (with a plant and dairy focus) helped with my anxiety, improved my mood, and improved my bowel movements. And on that note fiber supplements have been a wonderful addition to my life, has been my bidet. I really can’t recommend psylium husk highly enough.