What if you have a boner? Then it provides plausible deniability.
Thank you, jacket boner.
Thank you too, Docker pants.
They’re terrible, pants boner is far worse than jacket boner.
Exactly. These and those pants that make it look like you’ve peed in them just a little but for stylistic reasons are just good things to have out there in the world imo.
Have you given brother?
You gotta give!
My jacket doesnt extend far down enough to have that plausible deniability 😢
I use to think about this a lot, and would constantly try to fix it - trying to look like I wasn’t just playing with my dick while doing it.
But now that I’m older I realise most people know clothes do this, and that it doesn’t really look like a boner anyway. And people generally aren’t looking at me wondering if I’ve got a boner, and they probably don’t care if I do unless I’m also staring at them or something. … So now I just worry about accidentally staring at people. (And my eyesight isn’t great, so it isn’t always easy to tell.)
I think this is one of those things that seems like everyone notices when it’s you, but when you think about it in reverse you struggle to think of any times you’ve noticed another person with a ‘jacket zipper boner’.
Zipper less hoodies don’t seem to do this ime
IDK why this is downvoted; it’s literally the zipper that causes this bulge by being stiffer and less likely to bend like the rest of the material used for the jacket/hoodie/pants.
At least on a jacket or hoodie, you can push it up so the bulge is on your chest or something. Can’t really do that with jeans when the zipper is just on the crotch.
If you just play it cool and use that jacket bump, it won’t even occur to anyone that it’s a boner.
I never wear jackets, but still get those bumps in my jeans somehow.
That’s called a jeanis.
Is it jeans season again?
It is always jeans season on Lemmy
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Jeanis
I know your comment didn’t necessarily appear out of nowhere, but it reminds me of that subreddit “skamtebord”
I miss that one sometimes…
There’s a lot of good subreddits I miss. Not enough to go back, but I get it for sure.
Nah, there’s no room for that, it would always bend and slip downward to the middle of the thigh or upward to the belly button.
Jeanis is correct.
Erections are no joke. You could poke an eye out with one of those.
It’s because the cloth shrinks in the wash more than the zipper so in order to fit the longer zipper in the smaller cloth it needs to bulge out.
Worst answer to “Is that a roll of coins in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?”
I have a roll of coins in my pocket, but I’m happy to see you so I can give you these coins. I also have a massive erection.
You are not supposed to wash jeans in a way that would make them shrink.
You are not supposed to wash them in a washing machine at all in the first place.
In case someone is stressing about this (I used to when I was young and dumb), no one cares about your boner, or lack thereof. But someday you might meet someone who does!
When you’re past a certain age, having an unexpected, rebellious boner that refuses to calm down is an achievement. I remember when they were a constant nuisance, so I can relate to the young and dumb guys.
If you have a penis on your stomach, maybe.
You wear crop top jackets?
Just punch on it to make it clear for everone around that it is not…
Make sure to scream things like “yeaaaah, that’s it!” and “more, more!” when you do. You have reinforce the visual denial with vocal denial.
Thank you jacket bump for helping me hide the continuous uncontrollable boners I got in school. I could put my hands in my pockets and play pocket pinball all through class!
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I actually just have a boner.
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Ah to be young again!
I too have a boner that comes out of my stomach
You should get that checked
You should only hate it if it makes it look like your boner is smaller than it actually is. No reason to hate it when it’s flattering. 😌
As a tall freak of nature, I’m just thrilled when I find a shirt that reaches that low. You shorts don’t know how good you have it.
Same. I have some aged Old Navy hoodies in tall sizes that go to about the bottom of my jeans zipper.
I asked for a couple new ones (same size and SKU!) for Christmas and the bottom sits at the bottom of my belt so if I move or stretch it’s a belly shirt…
Eddie Bauer has been the same lately, the tall sizes are like maybe 1-2" longer but I’m not only extremely tall, but my torso is proportionally pretty long.
If I could be 5’10" that’d be great. I think most people take it for granted that the whole world is made for average height.
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Yeah got me in jail
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Nope
I think I’m gonna frame this.
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Yeah - there are a shit ton of Joker’s epic boners.
Also a lot of funny stuff with Superman and Jimmy Olsen. The Bronze Age is… something.
Batman rubs out another one of the Jokers boners. Unfortunately his boner was a trick and it turns into a sticky situation for our caped crusader. Tune in next week kids!
In jail for boner, yeah
Tummy boner tummy boner
