*puts in coins and pushes button for Crystal Bepis, gets diet root beer*
*puts in coins and pushes button for Bepis this time, somehow receive trail mix, not in bag*
*Accidentally put in too much money, return button doesn’t work. Push any soda button, nothing happens. Next guy gets two sodas he actually pushed the button for.*
This feels like a borked version of SCP-294
It’s not an SCP. It’s just a…vending machine from 1985. That’s how they all worked.
I once found a vending machine where I could pay for skittles, it wouldn’t give them to me, I’d get a refund, then I’d pay for them again and get TWO SKITTLES. I keep that location to myself but it was a godsend.
Between that and the killer soda machine from Maximum Overdrive.
ELI5 SCP
The SCP Foundation is a secret organization dedicated to securing, containing, and protecting various anomalous entities. The website is an archive of top secret documents including entries for each entity, called an SCP followed by a number, containing a practical name, detailed description, the effects of the anomaly, experiments performed, containment methods, pictures, etc. Objects can be anything, benign looking household items, monsters, seemingly normal humans, etc. There’s nearly 5000 entries on the site. It’s a pretty fun time sink if you’re into short horror stories. Most of them only take a minute or two to read. There’s also multiple games, most notably SCP Containment Breach and tons of spinoff material.
So it’s like deep fiction to the tune of the game Control?
Exactly, it literally says in Control’s wiki, “inspired by paranormal stories about the fictional SCP Foundation.” I didn’t know the genre is now called “New Weird” though. I have some new authors to check out.
Hype. Thanks so much! I’m going to have to dig a while.
Yep! But Control is based off SCP, not the other way around.
Oh I didn’t reckon it was even related, just meant the same flavor - but very very interested knowing control is based on SCP
A creative writing project where the stories are all loosely based in a common universe where there is a secret organization protecting humanity from an evil force which manifests as a broad variety of different monsters.
come up with a weird supernatural concept and write it in the format of a lab report
SCP-80085
Special Containment Procedures: put it in a secure room and don’t fucking touch it.
Description: SCP-80085 is a McTasty burger as served by the McDonald’s restaurant chain, seemingly immune to rot and decay. Anyone who touches it fucking dies instantly from clogged arteries causing a heart attack.
Addendum: Somehow Steve survived touching the burger, he took a bite and fucking exploded when he swallowed it, holy shit that’s gonna take some therapy. Burger seems to have regenerated though.Google it. It’s pretty fascinating.
Change must come from within.
One “end me,” please
I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me. You know, when I left the house today I was thinking “Damn, I really hope some hot chick paints my brains all over some fucking hallway.” And here we are.
I mean, really, just absolutely destroy me. I’m talkin’ full on, watermelon in the thighs level carnage.
And I want it to scare the shit outta me. I mean I hope I piss myself. I hope I piss myself and you call me your little “peepee pisspiss boy.” I want you to fuck me up. I mean I want you to make me your bitch. Your little peepee piss myself bitch.
I want it to get embarrassing. I mean like… weirdly embarrassing. Unsanitary, too. We should be entirely different people, by the end of the first eight hours.
Do you understand what I’m trying to say here? I mean, l’m a real freak. I’m not normal.
Ma’am… Please… You have to crush me.
Edit: Link
Excuse me, just one question: What the fuck?
Spike gets horny.
Some people need a dommy mommy sometimes.
That’s what you get for feeding lemmings after midnight.
There’s a soda machine in seattle on the sidewalk of some random street not near any store, that someone stocks with random cans of whatever. Stuff I would have bet money doesn’t exist, sometimes. Never heard anyone mention it, but when I brought it up they were like “oh yeah that haunted vending machine.”
Allison Williams of Seattle Met also notes that the neighborhood of Capitol Hill now has a more corporate culture, and doubts whether the area is “still weird enough for a persistent enigma”.
Gentrification strikes again.
Yeah I loved on capitol hill a dozen years ago and even then, all the hardcore hippies and weirdos were being wrung out of the neighborhood by developers and the bubble they bring. All of Seattle is totally different from 10, 20 years ago, which is totally different from 30, 40 years ago. None of it is for the better.
There is an itch.io game inspired by it! Hated by Mastercard and VISA for minor gore.
https://neuroticfly.itch.io/interdimensional-vending-machine
RIP 😭
‘was’
F
I could go for a Crystal Bepis right now.
Right now, it’s your tomorrow
Legit never seen a taste like that.
No Mingus Dew or Bebop Cola?
WELL HELLO, CONSUMER, YES, HELLO CONSUMER, BOP BOP BOP BOP BA DOP BAH BEBOP COLA, YEAH!
You bastard!
You k*lled Ben!
Oh, Ben! Oh!
…And your babies.
Oh, oh… They’re hatching.
They’re orphans…
BEBOP COLA GOOOOOD!!!
Mungus Du is the superior yellow drink
Hey guys, I found this dodgeball cannon! Let’s fire it up!
“end me”?
furiously pressing button
If you insist
33cl of hydrochloric acid
They’ll also never understand the pleasure of finding a dusty machine like this on a hot day after biking a long distance, putting in a quarter and being shocked when it works(!) and the sodas are ice cold.
I like that diet rite is the only one that’s not a parody
that’s because the existence of diet rite is parody enough itself
True. It was good tho
I think I single handedly killed it. I bought like seven two-liters a week for years, and I stopped last year when I switched to caffeine free diet bepis. Then Diet Rite gets cancelled. I’m sorry, guys!
I liked diet rite because it mixed well with various flavored syrups (Monin), especially vanilla and cherry.
Damn. That’s a lot of 2 liters. You drink water too though right?
Lots. Especially if you include the ice in the soda! But yeah. Usually six to eight cups additional. My fridge meters out filtered water by quarter cup increments, so I can keep good track of it.
I hate ice in my soda. Takes up space that should be soda.
But I’m glad you get your water intake
Wow! Wikipedia says it was discontinued only in 2024.
That’s actually pretty incredible. I don’t think I’ve seen a can since 1997
One large benis for me please 😋
Make it double
How you doin’?
The “pepe” being green is the tell
Shasta or get the fuck out.
🅱️asta
Agreed! I legit worked for SuperValu Corp back in the day for years on the soda desk and still would buy “off brands”! Shasta is still my jam to this day!! I am not trying to pay $10 for a damn pack of soda!
Also, nobody else makes a kiwi strawberry soda, and that shit fucking rules.
I agree!!! We get Shasta kiwi strawberry all the time and upset it’s now like $5 for a 12 pack!
i mean most of these are parodying the 2009 pepsi logo so idk
sepsis
rare Pepe
Pepe milk ftw
