A district judge in Wisconsin has sided with an 11-year-old trans girl over her use of the girls’ toilets and temporarily blocked school officials from preventing her access.

      • funkless@lemmy.world
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        my parents angrily forbid me to do drugs or have sex and begged me not to drink to excess. Guess which activities I regularly engaged in.

        I was threatened, beaten up, choked out and tortured in school for being “gay” (actually bi), and yet my (romantic) attraction to any and all genders even preceeded my understanding of any sexuality.

        not my parents, not my fellow students, not exes, not internet strangers, not religion and not any form of media has managed to change my sexuality.

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          my parents angrily forbid me to do drugs or have sex and begged me not to drink to excess. Guess which activities I regularly engaged in

          I too was vehemently forbidden, but I managed to understand how bad drugs and excessive drinking are and felt no need to rebel by “cutting off one’s nose to spite one’s face”

          Two people can go through the same environment and have completely different outcomes

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            Sometimes people don’t do it to rebel, they just do it to enjoy themselves. Sometimes it’s self-destructive, sometimes not.

            As you say, different people do things in different ways.

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              Exactly this. Letting anything take over your life will cause harm.

              Harm reduction is a thing y’know, anything can be enjoyed with the right precautions.

              • voidMainVoid@lemmy.world
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                All of the (illegal) drugs I ever used made my life better in some way. Whenever somebody tells me that they’ve never used drugs, I just feel sorry for them, because they’ve missed out on some great experiences. Of course, there are a few people with unusual brains who should avoid anything psychoactive, but I think the vast majority of people would benefit from it.

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                  Autsist here with trauma, I am a prime example of someone who probably shouldnt do drugs. Alcohols have weird effects let alone anything else. Though all my friends are convinced ill eventually do peyote for some reason.

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                  Every illegal drug, and many legal ones, I’ve seen used have made the users’ lives horrible as a result, and sometimes they’ve made my life horrible despite me not using them. How about instead of doing drugs you find a real solution to life’s problems?

              • Raven FellBlade@sh.itjust.works
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                And, to further your point, anything can be harmful if taken to excess, no matter how seemingly harmless, or even necessary. An excess of water consumption can be deadly. Somewhere along the way, certain substances were just chosen as immoral because humans seem to feel a deep seated need to both judge others, and control others.

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              They are addictive, damaging to the body and mind, destroy your life, and are used as unhealthy coping mechanisms.

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        What planet do you live on? Do you even know any trans people?

        I know a LOT of trans people, and none of their parents were particularly happy about their choice to transition. At best they were begrudgingly supportive.

        Nothing is pushing us to transition. Quite the opposite, infact.

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          There are infact people who groom kids into trans ideologies. Primarily teachers. I’m not saying it’s common but it isn’t a lie. Additionally at such a young age kids are absolutely still finding themselves and transtrenders are a thing due to the extra attention you get these days.

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            How is educating children “grooming”? Do you say that they are being “groomed” into mathematical ideology by math teachers?

            Do you think that children shouldn’t be taught about trans people?

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              Conservatives (given how anti-intellectual they’ve become) would probably suggest that non-religious education is grooming.

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              I think it’s very difficult, in practice, to “teach” young children about gender identity without falling back on stereotypes and gender conformity.

              Since an 8-year-old girl doesn’t have overtly feminine characteristics like breasts or wide hips to feel physically uncomfortable with, how do you explain what it means to “feel like a boy”? The examples I’ve seen in elementary schools revert to showing a boy in a dress as “feeling like a girl”…when really, preferences for toys or clothing shouldn’t determine your gender or cis/trans-ness. (And even at older ages, being uncomfortable with newly-sprouted breasts or hating periods doesn’t make you a trans boy, of course.)

              I also think there is danger in quizzing children about this at a very young age and then taking them literally. Some of my coworkers have “transitioned” their toddlers and pre-schoolers … but these kids are still young enough to identify as cats and dogs and fairies, depending on the day. In this case, the adults aren’t intentionally grooming. But it’s likely that they’re asking leading questions and misinterpreting childhood play through their own lens of having an established gender identity.

              IMO, we’d all benefit from taking gender a bit less seriously.

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                I also think there is danger in quizzing children about this at a very young age and then taking them literally.

                What’s the danger? If a kid decides that they’re a different gender, and then changes their mind back later, what harm has been done?

                I think it’s healthy for kids to experiment when they’re still figuring out their identity. The harm comes when adults stigmatize this stuff so that a kid thinks that they’re bad or wrong for being different.

                • ClarissaXDarjeeling@lemmy.world
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                  I agree that it’s healthy to experiment. At four years old, I was a “boy” whenever I played Peter Pan. And as a teen, I happened to go through a rather butch phase when I could easily be confused for a boy. I’m thankful that my parents weren’t at all hung up on gender conformity, and neither was the community.

                  But if parents make a big deal out of changing a kid’s name and pronouns and clothing, and swapping all the gender-stereotypical toys of one gender for another, and joining pride groups and making it a central part of the family’s identity … I think that creates a LOT of pressure for that child to continue in a trans identity (even though it’s pretty unlikely their toddler was actually trans to begin with).

                  Why not dress however you like, play with whatever toys you like, but hold off on the assumption that gender non-conformity = transgender child? Or hold off on trying to “teach” these concepts to a little person who’s perfectly content just eating dirt and playing tag?

                  My nephew right now is two and a half and pretty oblivious of gender. He shows no objection with being referred to with male pronouns, and yet his daycare teachers refuse to use he/him pronouns until he “comes out as cis” (in the meantime, all children are “they”). The parents in this community also fly flags and post messages like “trans children are sacred” and “bless the queer kids” constantly. It might sound lovely, and it’s meant to be inclusive … but children are quick to pick up on favoritism and which kids are considered special. In addition to that general sentiment, if parents keep asking, “Are you a boy or a girl? It’s ok if you feel like a girl, sweetie” … then eventually kids will parrot back whatever terms they hear, or whatever they think will earn a positive response. (Case in point: if you ask my nephew in an enthusiastic voice, he may confirm his identity as “cat” and “dog” and “cement mixer”.)

                  In short: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Don’t create complexity where there wasn’t any before.

                  My guess is that in the vast majority of cases, adults who officially “transition” their very young children are simply projecting their own desire for ally-ship. And my main gripe remains: if teachers and counselors continue to conflate gender non-conformity with transgenderism, then clearly they aren’t qualified to “teach” what it is in the first place. Let boys in dresses and girls with short hair be just that, without probing for more.

          • RedSeries@lemmy.world
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            Weird, cause I grew up with authority figures slamming back the f-slur, disparaging gays, and promoting straight movies, books, and media. Somehow I still turned out trans and pan. Weird. Weeeird. You’d think I’d have “learned” to be straight and cis with all of the grooming I got…

          • MaximumOverflow@lemmy.ca
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            The same was said about gay people years ago and guess what? It wasn’t true, because of course it wasn’t. Informing kids and teens of the existence of other sexualities won’t convince them to adopt them.

            The increase in transgender youth can be mainly attributed to the increased acceptance and knowledge of the issue among the younger generations. Simple as that.

            VERY few people would ever do it for attention, since the attention you get is extremely often negative. Most transgender people are terrified of telling others they’re trans because of the reaction they’d get. The popularity argument is simply unrealistic.

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            I remember when I was hanging out with some of the gays (I keep them as friends to keep up appearances). Before, I was always the alpha. I could swing by any bar and leave with the hottest lib in my F150. By the end of the night she’d be screaming for her daddy and fully supportive of Trump. I loved converting libs to MAGA-wearing breeders.

            But then I hung around the gays, and something inside of me just fundamentally flipped: I love penis inexplicably and wearing the latest Hillary 2024 fair-trade organic cotton shirts I got for volunteering. I’ve never seen such a marvelous transformation!

          • webadict@lemmy.world
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            Everything you said is wrong, but let’s start with an easy question to identify your bias.

            What percent of the population do you think is trans and what percent do you think identifies as trans incorrectly?

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            Yeah, good luck with that. I work at a school where me and my colleagues have put a great deal of effort in educating the kids we teach (grades 1-4) about what LGBTQ+ means (we’re actually certified by a LGBTQ+ organization). Most of the kids could tell you what it means to be transgender, some of the ways in which LGBTQ+ people are being discriminated against and in which countries you could go to prison for being gay. Most of them also agree that people should be able to identify as whatever gender they want and that everyone else should respect that.

            Despite of this, not a single kid has ever shown any desire to identify as any other gender than their biological one except for the kids who already identified as trans; the older one clearly saying they’re trans and the younger one repeatedly saying things like “Why does it matter if I feel like a boy or a girl” and that they’re fine with any pronouns when other kids have asked them what gender they are. We have some of immigrant kids who have trouble with pronouns and often the kids get angry with them for using the wrong pronouns (“I’m a BOY, not a girl!”) and, despite of our best efforts, you can often hear them saying things like “We boys are so much better than girls”. Good fucking luck convincing an 8 year old that they should identify as any other gender than the one they identify with.

            • Tb0n3@sh.itjust.works
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              There’s a difference between telling a kid trans people exist and telling them those feeling of being uncomfortable in their body is being trans and not just normal puberty.

      • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        Who was making the decisions when I was a teenager that didn’t know transgender men existed, but I was still making plans to get a mastectomy and hysterectomy due to dysphoria when I was an adult?

        Essentially from the time I grew breasts and started having periods I was determined to do it, even though I didn’t have the words to explain why I wanted it and everyone I told reacted with bafflement. My parents and community were southern baptist, there aren’t many less trans supportive environments in the US. Surely if trans kids are all groomed into it I shouldn’t have been able to come up with this on my own, right?

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        There’s another saying: if you spout transphobic bullshit, you may be a redneck.

        (With apologies to redneck allies)

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        Are the meta users already bleeding into the fediverse? Go back to meta and enjoy your anti human echo chamber.

      • Cabrio@lemmy.world
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        Conservatives are like vegan cats, fed the wrong shit so it’s all they can regurgitate.

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        my parents literally did not let me transition despite me begging them to. you’re wrong lol.

        also (full offence) only someone who’s brain dead could possibly see a connection between those two things

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        Read the WPATH Standards of Care. Decisions are made by the child, with the support and approval of the parents and a team of medical and mental health professionals.

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        Trans toddlers, ya, but 11 years old is puberty age, that’s old enough to experiment with it

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          You are absolutely correct That’s what I was thinking of. Regardless, as long as they don’t give puberty blockers to children, it should be fine. But there are certainly consequences to children merely experimenting and being told that’s exactly the way they are.

      • Tb0n3@sh.itjust.works
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        Why the fuck did a mod remove my post? Are you guys so delicate you can’t take the tiniest bit of disagreement?

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        As a father of two elementary school aged girls, I can tell you that they don’t give a shit. They would rather be supportive of their friend. People who insist on perpetuating outdated concepts of gender roles and modesty are on the wrong side of history.

        • Zippy@lemmy.world
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          It is good your daughter’s are good with this. Would be nice if everyone was. But do you think all the girls or even the majority are comfortable that need to use same bathroom if they know someone might be biological male?

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            When I’m using the restroom, the last thing I care about is which genitals the person in the other stall has. Why would this be a concern?

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              Honest question, if this is the take why do transgender people need to use the opposite sex bathroom? Why does it matter?

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                I’m not transgender, so you probably should ask them.

                What I do know is that this is a major issue for them, to the point where some of them develop bladder issues from avoiding the restroom out of fear of being bullied. When people tell me that something is causing them to suffer, I tend to believe them, unless there’s some compelling evidence otherwise.

                When I was in college, I knew a transman. One day, I walked into the men’s restroom as he was walking out, and one of the other men in the restroom turned to his friend and said, “What’s she doing in here?” (Meaning the transman.) Now imagine if you had to deal with the possibility of being bullied that way (or worse!) every time you wanted to use the restroom.

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                Preface: am not trans, but have thought about and read many things from transppl about everything going on in their heads bc its still sth i struggle with

                This will also vary based on the individual, and there’s probably at least one transperson out there that doesn’t care. But for those that do, I’d think it comes down to it being one more aspect where they’re put into a box they really don’t feel like they belong in. Something that on its own would likely not be a big deal, but if you’re already trying to 1) get away from everything your birth sex has confined you to and 2) try to feel as close to your actual gender as possible in every day life, it can make a difference.

                Really I’m just confused why bathrooms are gender seperated in the first place though, we have stalls for a reason?

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              Some girls have a problem with it. Should we ignore their concerns? I wish everyone had no issues at all like you. If that was the case we could just build single coed bathrooms. Possibly that is what we should do from an early age. Get rid of the male/female bathroom entirely so that it is normal to all use the same bathroom and gender identity would no longer matter.

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                Some girls have a problem with it. Should we ignore their concerns?

                Yes. The concerns of transphobes (and other bigots) should be ignored.

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                Yes, we should ignore them. Just like we ignore homophobes that have a problem sharing with gays, or racists that have a problem sharing with back people.

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            I am speaking anecdotally, but in my daily interactions at my kids daycamp, my kids views are pretty much on par with the rest of their peers. There’s a boy at their daycamp who likes to wear dresses. He’s treated no differently than any of the other kids. They have unisex bathrooms because the ratio of girls to boys is out of whack, so it makes more sense.

            My point is that kids today don’t care. They don’t have the same hangups that we were raised with. And why should they?

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              My boys (19 and 16) are the same way. If “John” comes out to them and says that they prefer being called “Jane,” my boys immediately accept it completely and start calling her with the correct name and pronouns.

              My boys regard trans (or any other facet of LGBTQ) as the same level of information regarding a person as “they have black hair” or “they have blue eyes.” It’s a basic fact about them, but not a reason to judge the person.

              Now, if the person acts like a jerk, then my boys will definitely judge them.

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            Is actually love to see a survey of different age groups and see how much they care about this, but this sort of feedback is neither constructive nor useful.

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        Your thought is valid.

        But what I wanted to tell you is that based upon my kids, their friends, and other people’s kids that I know and talk to - very VERY few of them give a single fuck about this sort of thing. Like surprisingly few.

        It’s refreshing, because it’s truly no big deal.

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            and even though he’s my friend and I’m the first person he came out to it still feels weird when he walks into the bathroom with me.

            That’s a you problem, and it’s up to you to get over.

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                The majority of people think your transphobia is disgusting and not something we want perpetuated. It’s a myth to think your way of thinking is anything normal. Most people don’t think about other people’s genitals as much as you do. We just go pee and never give other people any thought.

                Please change your path before you’re too far gone.

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                For someone with Uncle Iroh as your username, you sure aren’t as understanding as your namesake. I think you’re more like Zuko at the beginning of his journey; only thinking about himself and his needs.

                Imagine being so triggered by someone using a stall near you. As a man, I wouldn’t care if a woman came into the gents and used a stall. Why would I care? Anyone in the bathroom is there to do their business and get out, not to look at your little fella.

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                Isn’t this just an argument against your point of view? Most people I’ve ever talked to don’t care as long as the trans individual is minding their own business, why should the majority conform to a very small minority who is uncomfortable? Your argument is the same one made to support segregated bathrooms.

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                All that’s being asked is that people mind their business in public restrooms. See someone who looks a little different? Cool, wash your hands and leave. If a trans person is being a creep in a bathroom, kick them out the same way you would kick out anyone else being a creep. The other 99.9% of the time, just mind your own business and let people pee and wash their hands in peace.

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                Alright, you lost me.

                You don’t have to conform. You have to learn that it makes no difference at all.

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            Shame you’re besmirching the name of Uncle Iroh. He would calmly pour some tea and tell you, “How odd, in that situation, that it is you who needs to grow a pair.”

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            I don’t see any detriment to giving trans people their own space where they can be comfortable and let everyone else be comfortable too

            I am confident you don’t realize the full implications of what you’re saying, so please don’t take this as an attack, but would you also support “black only” restrooms for this exact same reason? If not, why not?

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                Why do either matter in the bathroom? How does the sex of someone else change how you pee or poop?

                There are already laws in place to prevent people from harassing others in the bathroom, regardless of sex. I just don’t understand. There are SO many contradictions in the belief that banning trans people from the bathroom of their choosing is even worth discussion.

                Are you worried about girls and women being uncomfortable in the bathroom around someone who looks like a guy? Ok, so if a ban is in place, they now have to share the bathroom with trans men who look a hell of a lot more like a guy than a trans woman.

                Is it about preventing people who may be attracted to others from sharing space in the bathroom? First, gross, it’s a bathroom; only pervs go looking for any kind of sexual gratification there (and again, there’s already laws that cover this). Second, gay people exist, so it’s kind of a moot point to ban trans people.

                It just seems like any concern used to justify a trans bathroom ban would still exist even if a ban was in place. I mean, unless of course the only concern is “trans people have too many rights in our society” in which case, kindly, fuck right off.

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                  and it’s worth mentioning that there is no genital check before entering a bathroom. An “anti-trans bathroom” law would likely also get wielded against masculine women and effeminate men who are not transgender.

                  None of it makes any sense when you take 30 seconds to consider it.

                • amanneedsamaid@sopuli.xyz
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                  Yeah, laws already cover all the bases. Thats why I think the entire idea of not letting trans people use their bathroom of choice is derogatory.

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                it still feels weird when he walks into the bathroom with me

                Are they? What if someone still feels weird when a Black person walks into the bathroom with them? Should we take that person’s feeling into account and simply give Black people their own space where they can be comfortable and let everyone else be comfortable too?

                If no: why not?

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                Racism and transphobia are 2 completely comparable things.

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                Elaborate? In what way are they so different that they wouldn’t also apply for the comment I quoted?

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            I think the point is that the kids don’t care and the only people complaining are the adults who don’t feel completely comfortable.

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              I have a friend who’s son is transitioning, not a single of the kids at his school give a single shit. Even more so they say things to their parents like, “how can you be so binary” and such like. The kids don’t care it’s the parents who are uncomfortable and projecting it unto the kids.

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              Bullies would. But not so much because they’re transphobic, but because they just look for anything that could be a soft spot to abuse.

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            You don’t see a problem with needing to build a 3rd bathroom in every place that only has 2 bathrooms, and would single out those who use it as an “other” to anyone seeing them use it?

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              Build a 3rd bathroom is still a hilarious take to me. No the solve is Female only and Unisex. That way you don’t need to build anything.

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            You know what happens when I’m uncomfortable about something? I try and look at why. If I feel that the reasons are because of my own personal insecurities and triggers, I try and deconstruct them and find reasons and solutions to them. What I don’t do is project those insecurities on others, and force them to conform to my point of view.

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            and even though he’s my friend and I’m the first person he came out to it still feels weird when he walks into the bathroom with me.

            Why? What kind of “weird”?

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              Fr 💀 does he think his friend is going to sexually assault him? His mindset proves he has a huge lack of respect for his friend.

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                I wonder if his friend knows how he feels. I feel bad for him. Imagine the first person you’re comfortable opening up to feeling this way.

                • BURN@lemmy.world
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                  I bet his friend doesn’t exist

                  It sounds suspiciously like “I have a black friend” and that black friend is a white guy who did blackface once

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            Stop looking at your friends genitals in the bathroom. Problem solved. Fuck your comfort, no one cares about your feelings. Let people use the bathroom for fucks sake.

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        The kids don’t give a fuck. It’s the backwards parents who can’t get their mind out of the dark ages that are ‘uncomfortable’.

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                Tbh this segregation is also stupid as well, it’s completely possible to make non-gendered bathrooms that are safe spaces. High traffic areas with to the floor stalls that are basically rooms are the best option. Low traffic areas are the issue however. But segregation is overall pretty ridiculous even for bathrooms, and implies a failure of our culture to minimize predators.

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                  There have to be millions of restaurants, cafes and other places that already have unisex bathrooms, and apparently that’s never been a problem. Weird, huh?

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                  Exactly. The Red Rocks Amphitheater in Colorado does exactly this and it makes so much sense. Also by far the nicest bathrooms I’ve ever seen at a concert venue

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                  Yes, but that’s not an option here, because in response to a suggestion that she use a non-gendered bathroom ‘she had suffered “emotional distress and mental-health effects, including thoughts of self-harm, nightmares, embarrassment, social isolation and stigma, and lowered self-esteem”’ That’s copied directly from the article.

                  Non-gendered bathrooms would appear to be the ultimate solution here, so obvs this girl’s going to be majorly traumatised every time she needs a wazz in that setup.

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                Because most of them are happy to use one of the existing options you’ve already mentioned, it is people like you who have the problem, so why shouldn’t you be the ones to be segregated?

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                Why do you want to other trans people?

                There’s alot of other ways you could have divided bathroom use but you ignored race, occupation, sexual orientation, housing status, handedness, whether they support the Yanks or the Mets, if-or-not they wear flip flops, number 1 or number 2, time since their last covid test, attractiveness, their tact when sniffed, and dick size.

                Could have segregated bathrooms by any the above categories but you chose to suggest a bathroom for (presumably cisgender) Man, a bathroom for (presumably cisgender) Women, and an “Other” bathroom occupied by people who are not just not men and not women (whose absence of a space “for” them is a salient if side point) but people who very much fit within the binary categories “Man” and “Woman” but you still want separate, with the odd, ends, and enbys, from the Cis People bathroom.

                Think about why it is you want a “Cis People Bathroom”.
                Don’t even think about the invasion of genital privacy or general propriety required to effect the border you wish to erect.

                Think about why this is a thing you want.
                Why you want people, who have genders—which are every bit as real as yours—, to have to expel the semi-solid remains of food and wastes and toxins filtered from their blood in a separate room from you.
                What is it about these people that makes their shit stink more (or less) enough to warrant their doing so separately?

                Surely it’s not as simple as “Their gender turned out differently than a 13-second-old genital exam told them that it should, for which they need be punished.”

                Respect if that’s it. “Fuck Trans People.” Not the way I’d go with things, but it’s an ethos.

                I don’t think that’s it, though.
                You seem nice enough I doubt naked bigotry compels your actions.
                You seem well-informed enough—further—to know just how expensive a “fuck you” a third for every second bathroom would be just to keep a percentage point the populace apart 'pon poop and piss.

                So if it’s not naked bigotry, and it wouldn’t be very effective bigotry even if it was, what is it that makes you think trans people need to not be around people who aren’t trans during the 15/1440 minutes a day the average ass spends on a toilet?

              • Zorque@kbin.social
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                Why should we? Because they make you uncomfortable?

                Why should we legislate what other people do based on your discomfort? They’re not trying to change the way you live your life, they’re not getting in your face by using a bathroom (unless you’re blocking their path for some reason), they’re just trying to live their life to the best of their ability. Why is that so discomforting for you?

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                Stalls are already “segregated.” Who cares if you have to wash your hands next to someone who looks a little different?

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            Should make sure to have separate drinking fountains, too, just to be safe.

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        The 11 year old girl the judge sided with is one of the “little girls being uncomfortable with it”.

      • MyFairJulia@lemmy.world
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        This discomfort usually comes up if you expect a trans kid (most likely trans girl) to show their genitals (usually a dick) to you or your kids. That does not happen. This is what conservatives want you to think though when they ban trans kids (or even trans people of all ages) from using the toilet matching their gender.

        This doesn’t happen because most of the time trans people are not comfortable with their genitals anyway. But even if they are: They don’t show their genitals because they want to take a dump in the toilet.

        Besides: I find the confidence of conservatives truly remarkable that they think that a trans woman will go around and show them their dick. Conservatism is not sexy for us at all, nevermind sexy enough that we get naked on the spot.

        You know what is sexy enough to make us undress on the spot? Consent! There’s nothing more sexy than a consenting partner!

        Also what dismalnow said.

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        It’s about the discomfort of adults who don’t want to think about things that are different than what they learned is “normal” when they were growing up.

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        11 year olds aren’t generally the ones giving that many fucks. Remember that most boys have only just entered puberty by that age, literally no one reasonable is expecting the bag of hormones that is, say, a 16 year old.

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        I’m honestly really fucking disappointed someone would take the username uncle_iroh and just use it to be a malignant cunt.

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          completely off-topic but even with all his good qualities, Iroh was actually kinda sexist and probably contributed a great deal to Azula’s aggression and compulsion to prove herself as a worthy successor to the throne of the fire nation.

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          In what fucking world do you live in where anything he just said would justify being a “malignant cunt”. Happy to see this place is just reddit 2.0.

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        I work with kids. They only give a fuck about shit like this if their parents make a huge deal about it. Trust me, they do not fucking care otherwise.

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        I’m a cisgender male and would much rather take a shit in a stall next to a dude with a pussy and a beard than take a piss at a urinal next to a woman with a dick, and I think women would probably rather take a piss next to someone who looks like a woman than next to someone who looks like a man. As long as the transgender person in question is dressed as their identified gender then I highly doubt any reasonable person will give a shit about their presence in the bathroom, unless women like to inspect eachother’s genitals in there or something.

        • Zippy@lemmy.world
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          Exactly what is dressed as their gender require? Are you suggesting transgender girl has to wear a dress or makeup or some defining cloth? If she decides to come to school in jeans and button shirt she must use the boys bathroom that day?

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            Exactly what is dressed as their gender require?

            That they dress how you’d expect their gender to dress

            Are you suggesting transgender girl has to wear a dress or makeup or some defining cloth?

            As long as women look like women and men look like men in the bathrooms, I won’t bat an eye

            If she decides to come to school in jeans and button shirt she must use the boys bathroom that day?

            This ain’t 1953, women are allowed to wear jeans and shirts now. I just don’t wanna take a piss next to someone who looks like a woman, is that too much to ask?

            • Zippy@lemmy.world
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              Again what exactly makes a women look like a women? What exactly does she have to do or wear to make it acceptable to you?And when did a trans person have to conform to yours or my opinion of what visually determines his or her gender?

              The point I am making is that this is not black and white. It is rather rich in that you are fine providing a trans person confirms to your idea alone of what is acceptable.

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                Again what exactly makes a women look like a women?

                Plenty of things. Hairstyle, specifics regarding their types of clothing, mannerisms, etc.

                What exactly does she have to do or wear to make it acceptable to you?

                You know it when you see it, that’s all I can say.

                The point I am making is that this is not black and white. It is rather rich in that you are fine providing a trans person confirms to your idea alone of what is acceptable.

                If a trans person wishes to be recognized as whatever gender they identify as, then that means that unless they carry around a sign saying “I AM A WOMAN” or “I AM A MAN” 24/7, they’re gonna have to conform to society’s expectations of how their identified gender is supposed to look and act. Otherwise, people will be made uncomfortable if they look like they don’t belong. Most women wouldn’t want to share a bathroom with someone with a beard who wears blue jeans and a tank top, and I don’t want to share a bathroom with someone with a skirt and a ponytail.

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      Make them all unisex. If it’s a large facility with a bunch of stalls or a small facility for only one person, make them all unisex.

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        I went to a club with only one, huge, unisex bathroom once. It was… like any other bathroom. Seeing people of the opposite gender wasn’t really a concern anyways.

        Since it was a rather yuge bathroom for a yuge club, if there was any shenanigans going on there would’ve been plenty of witnesses to call it out.

        There was even one guy who went piss at a urinal, and started to leave without washing his hands. All the other guys started shouting at the guy to was his hands lol.

      • njordomir@lemmy.world
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        To be fair, there is safety in numbers and consequently I also see a benefit to combining them. I’m a dude, and I would rather walk down a busy pedestrian mall than a sketchy half-empty street or an urban trail on a moonless night.

        Same thing with bathrooms. I imagine women feel better in a bathroom where other women and other people are present and aware, vs a nearly empty bathroom where a creep could walk in and isolate them at any moment. I’ve been to places with large unisex bathrooms (hot springs, spas, etc.) and there’s enough people in there that no one is gonna try anything stupid/inappropriate without being immediately noticed. Bathroom troublemakers are a small subset of the universally large group of people who have to use the restroom anyway.

        I only support gender-segregated bathrooms because I don’t want a bunch of chicks clogging up the mensroom with their slow pissing/shitting/bloody paper towels on the floor. :D I am unreasonable and self-centered, but anyone who has ever been to a concert knows which line is longer.

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          They can put urinals in a unisex restroom.

          In fact, there are all sorts of things in public restrooms that are unused. For example, the last restroom you visited had a sink where you could have washed your hands.

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          In my hypothetical example, when you pictured stalls, you pictured them with only toilets inside. You didn’t even consider that there could be a stall with just a urinal.

          You may enjoy sidling to the trough and gazing at your competition, but some of us appreciate not having creeps trying to size us up.

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            Right so how do people plan to sell this? “Hey 49% of the population, we are going to make a basic need more difficult for you and you get nothing in return”.

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              You don’t have to. Nobody votes on this shit. You just start building buildings with a large number of private, all-gender stalls like we’ve been doing in limited quantities for a long time. And most wouldn’t care that strongly, or might even appreciate the added privacy.

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      Pretty much only conservatives. They’re actually pretty obsessed with thinking about children being raped in bathrooms.

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        Now the problem with that would be that then people would only use the pissing bathroom, because who would want to poop with other people? I sure wouldn’t.

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    gender neutral bathrooms are the answer here.

    most public places have them now, don’t get why you can’t have one in a school.

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      In places with large crowds, gender neutral bathrooms (assuming you also mean single-use) don’t really work. It causes massive lines.

      Not to mention, there’s no need. It’s a bathroom. Why does anyone care who they pee or poop next to? It seems so silly and arbitrary to me. Just get in, do your thing, wash your hands, and get out. haha

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        We can have gender neutral bathrooms where we have a shared hand-washing area, and individual stalls. Heck, you can even have cameras pointed towards the sink area if people are so afraid of getting harassed in the bathroom. Gender should not matter when you have individual stalls.

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          Right? I’ve been using public restrooms for a long time and I don’t recall ever seeing anyone’s naughty bits.

          …and for me the most ridiculous part of this discussion is that bathrooms have never been a secure space. If some creep wanted to go into a bathroom to harass people, there is literally nothing stopping them. It’s not like bathrooms have guarded entrances and now people have a sneaky way to get into a bathroom by pretending to be transgender or something insane like that.

          It’s literally a manufactured issue to get the GOP electorate terrified, as everything they do is designed to do.

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            I’ve been using public restrooms for a long time and I don’t recall ever seeing anyone’s naughty bits.

            I see you’ve never had the misfortune of using the circular trough-style urinal where everyone is facing each other and peeing into the middle. Thankfully, they are not very common.

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                What is it with the US and making public toilets as weird as possible? Your freaking walls & doors are bad enough but this is like a piss fountain. I’d expect something like this in maybe a swinger / fetish club or something like that.

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                  It’s not a urinal, it’s for washing your hands. I’ve mostly ever seen them in factories where you have shifts coming on and off the clock at the same time so they need to be able to handle a high volume of workers.

                  That said, I’m not a big fan of the piss walls you get in the UK and Ireland. They always feel awkward to me, but I guess if you’re used to it…

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              Yes I hate this kind of shit too. It costs less and somehow might be able to pack more pissers, but it’s so weird. Maybe unless you’re into staring at other people when you’re peeing.

            • JudgeHolden@lemmy.world
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              Lol! Those are meant for washing your hands, not for pissing. Although I guess I can imagine a scenario where some genius thinks one is a urinal and somehow the idea catches on. Still pretty funny though.

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          The best compromise for neutrality and efficiency is to keep gender neutral stalls but also retain an area with urinals which will be much quicker for large numbers of men to pass through then using stalls, and also saves water.

          The other consideration would be that the stalls will need to be sufficiently screened that people in them don’t feel overlooked or vulnerable (I’m looking at you USA with your weird gappy stall building!).

          • 001100 010010@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            Um I think if we’re gonna have urinals, they need to have a divider to completely separate them from the rest of the bathroom area, just so some conservative women don’t freak out about the idea of men urinating outside of a closed stall.

            But yea the stalls need to have no gaps in them. I hate people just peeking in, especially when I was in k-12 public school.

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              I went to a mixed bathroom in France and had to walk past bare backsides to get to a stall. I don’t want to see one guy’s ass let alone a whole row of them.

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                In the US at least people don’t generally have their asses hanging out when using urinals.

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                  That’s not really a thing in Europe either. I saw it only once in my life, and that was back in school, from some third or second grader or something.

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        I was at a concert at Red Rocks Amphitheatre and they had gender neutral single stall bathrooms with a shared sink area. It was great. Sure, there was a line, but there was going to be one anyway. However, it ensured 100% utilization, when potentially one side would have less than 100% usage when the other has a line. It’s ideal for places with large crowds.

        (The stalls were also well built basically single rooms, not the shitty American stalls with gaps in them.)

      • DM_ME_SQUIRRELS@lemmy.world
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        It works perfectly, it’s just more expensive to construct. In some Nordic countries there are very few places with bathroom stalls, they either have lots of single-use bathrooms or completely walled-in rooms (wall from ground to roof, regular door) with a toilet and then sinks outside to wash your hands. Works in shopping malls, airports, schools (from small elementary schools to huge high-schools, I’ve never seen one with stalls). The only exceptions I can think of that have stalls are amusement parks, some sport arenas and (ironically) IKEA.

  • SadCack@lemmy.world
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    Imagine holding in a shit for months as a court determines where you can poop.

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    While this is welcome news, it’s also depressing that we live in a timeline stupid enough that bathroom panics are enough of a thing that there are laws on the books like this to be struck down by judges (and of course, the fact that other judges are likely to reverse this ruling).

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    I keep asking myself this every time the christofascists win a supreme court case.

    The majority of US citizens believe in legal abortion but, hey here we are!

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    Err… this simply isn’t true.

    Children are fucking brutal and always looking for ways to put others down. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. Remember when we were kids?

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    Good point. Shouldn’t slaves have just been happy what the majority of people in the south wanted?

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    1 year ago

    This is like the 4th time the state congress has tried pulling this crap and it keeps getting shot down. Meanwhile they don’t even consider marijuana legislation even though millions of dollars are going to taxes for other states they have it legalized. So stupid.

  • dudebro@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    A little bit of an overreach here.

    I’d like it so we can easily see censored content, so we don’t have to scour the modlog to see what happened. Is that possible?