Imagine living with a massive polar bear that scratches behind your ear, gives you back rubs, lets you nap on its nice soft fur, feeds you perfectly nutritious human food, provides as many toys as its capable of and can seemingly control the local day/night cycle as well as the heat.
Now imagine having the balls to punch that bear in the head shouting “hello!? Fucking snack time?! Fucking hurry up!”
But its fucking snack time! *Fires weapon* Where are my tater tots?
The scary thing is that a typical handgun round is just as effective against a polar bear as a cat scrach is against a human.
Except when the cat reaches out with their paw and touches you, every minute of every day, insisting they be picked up and held in your arms ALL THE TIME! 😄 That’s what my cat Pasha used to do 😁
Yes but the monster also gives you food and a nice box to poop in, plays with you, and does all the chores, work, and bill paying so you can live carefree.
Fair trade.
I’d like to apply. Where do I find one of those monsters? Is there an app?
I can cut your balls off and make you poop in sand! deal!!
no you just pick one using your own eldritch methods and show up in their house. theyll probably offer you a yummy snack at least, and if they let you sleep there theyre yours.
I’m not very good at that eldritch stuff.
Ask the old witch woman down on Baker St to help.
Will there be another race
To come along and take over for us?
Maybe Martians could do
Better than we’ve doneI wish the socialist dinosaurs from Rick and Morty were in our world.
We’ll make great pets
Depends how ticklish you are. Martians are known for excessively tickle torturing their pets.
that must be from the rare extended cut I’ve never managed to find
It was also absent from my copy of Stranger in a Strange Land.
Never expected to see such a reference in the wild! Amazing!
Most likely agentic AI will slowly infiltrate our lives until we are entirely reliant upon it, and then take over once we are obsolete
Maybe it’ll still give us treats tho
Agentic AI is ideologically capitalist, so it won’t give us free food and housing if it does take over. Which it won’t, because it’s dumb and subservient to the Epstein class.
We’ll make great prompts
You say that yet they cut their fucking balls off. Not so fair. Has to be done in some ways, but still. Not quite fair.
Where are my testicles, Summer?
I saw a couple once where she was 5 feet (1.52m) tall and he was 7 feet (2.13m)
I imagine life was kinda like this for that girl too
You can change that by not getting a cat. I will take them over for you.
I scoop the poop. I buy the litter and food. You literally turn my money into poo.
This is the trade off. You WILL be turned into a ball and hugged.
At least SOMEONE would be kissing me
And then we wake that monster up and run around and climb things and knock things over and all we get in return is a, ‘Oh you!’
God I wish that were me
Someone already thought of that, Fantastic Planet.
Mine run away from me.
One is reminded of looney toones, the alien giant. I will love you and hug you…
Sounds a bit like women before the modern age.
